Insecurities disappear after finally getting kiss

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This article was published 22/01/2017 (3236 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The first girl I ever loved refused to kiss me when I was 12 years old, and I was hurt and embarrassed. I was at a party the other night, and this tall woman who looked vaguely familiar was advancing towards me. She was walking like she was a little tipsy. She got up close to me, put her hand behind my neck, stood on her tiptoes and kissed me brainless! She said after, “I hate regrets, and one of my regrets is the night I refused to kiss you when we were 12 years old.”

My wife, who has a nose for women making moves on me, came right over and asked what was going on. The woman explained to her she was righting a wrong and told her the story about when we were kids, and they both had a laugh. Then they went off to talk about God knows what and have another drink. I like to imagine they were talking about how hot I am, but they probably didn’t.

No matter what, that kiss made me feel great, and it wiped out an insult and an insecurity I didn’t even know was still in me. I smile now when I think about that kiss. Just sayin’… — Better Late Than Never, Winnipeg

Dear Better Late Than Never: It’s funny how apologies and making things right with something as simple as one kiss can still have a healing effect many years later. You would think the insult, hurt and embarrassment was forgotten, but like elephants, we carry a lot of misty old memories around with us, good and bad. I’m sure more than one reader is thinking right now about a former crush who turned them down, a teacher who owes them an apology or a sibling who once dealt a crushing insult they didn’t even mean. Maybe this is the year to be like Winnipeg buses and say “Sorry.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met an old man on a bench in the mall who asked me if I knew a woman — and he named my grandmother. He said, “She looked just like you when she was younger.” Then he asked me if she was still alive. I told him she wasn’t, but she had a great life.

He looked off in the distance and said, “I always think about her getting near Valentine’s Day. I loved her once, but I let her get away on Valentine’s Day when we had a quarrel. She was the greatest love of my life.”

I was shocked, but after a minute I asked him if he ever married, and he said he did get married, and he loved his wife, but it wasn’t as deep and true as he had with my grandmother.

We talked for a few more minutes, and I said I had to get going. He had a phone his grandkids had given him for Christmas, so he asked me for a picture with him and we took some selfies.

As we left, he said, “Don’t ever let a quarrel get in the way of love. Apologize, even when you’re right.” Do you think he’s right about that? — Granddaughter of the One, Fort Garry

Dear Granddaughter: Yes, there is some wisdom in this. It really doesn’t hurt to apologize, even when you’re right, because you’ve already made your point in the fight. You just apologize for the fight itself and hurt it caused and say you want to stay close. You should also know you can love more than person romantically in a lifetime, though the loves are of different colours and depths.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o

the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave.,

Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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