Getting dad to wear a wire is playing with fire

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This article was published 07/04/2017 (3450 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My dad is a real softy and he worries me a lot. He signed up to an online dating site with a profile some professional wrote for him and has been inundated with responses. He’s all excited. Now he’s off on as many as three coffee dates per week. I’m worried about him because my mom died two years ago and he’s lonely and vulnerable. He’s also well-to-do and well-known in Winnipeg. How can I protect him? I’d like to wire him up so I can hear what lines these women are feeding him.

When I ask him about then, he says, “Don’t worry your head about it, little girl!” But I do and I’m not a little girl. I’m 24. How can I make sure he doesn’t get taken in? — Worried Daughter, Winnipeg

Dear Worried Daughter: How would you have liked it if your dad had you wear a wire when you went out for dates? He had much more to worry about when you were starting to see guys and you had the capability to get accidentally pregnant and derail your education and your dreams. Give Pop credit for being more mature than you were at that time. His dating skills will come back to him, especially if he’s seeing three women a week. That means he’s not settling on the first one, by a long shot.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: On the weekend I ran into a guy who had been my first boyfriend at university. We had been hot and heavy at school. Mostly we made love and slept, and talked about life. I thought it was love, but that he was too shy to say the words. He was my first lover and seemed to adore me back. Then we graduated and he moved back to his home city and took a job with his dad’s company. He made promises to see me again and then just disappeared. I cried for months over him while he ignored all my phone calls and letters.

Anyway, we’re at this big academic conference in Winnipeg recently, and it was cocktail time and he came over looking glassy-eyed with a wolfish grin on his face. He said, “Hey, baby, you look just as hot as I remember!” My husband, who is also in the same field, was turned the other way, but overheard. He asked if I wanted him to get rid of that “clown,” but I told him I could handle it. The guy was offended my husband called him a clown and asked what he did to deserve that title. I pulled him away and said, “You hurt me badly. After the relationship we had, I was in love with you and you dropped me like I was nothing and totally refused all my calls and letters. How could you have been so cruel? You broke my heart.” He looked at me like I was from outer space and told me that we were just sex playmates having fun back then and that he had a girlfriend back home that he was going to marry. I asked where she was and he said she left him. I looked at him and said, “The drinking, the women or the dishonesty?” and he said, “Never mind.” I didn’t feel any better when I walked away. Should I have done that? — Feeling Mean, St. Vital

Dear Feeling Mean: This is a man who needed to learn the consequences of his actions. He deserved what you gave him — a kick in the conscience. The biggest lesson he got out that conference was that he has really hurt people and they don’t forget. Note his opening remark. Your husband’s referring to him as a clown was a nice touch. It showed the college boyfriend that you are well-loved by a partner who’s willing to straighten out a rude old ex with glassy eyes and a glib mouth.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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