Short man has even shorter temper

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/11/2017 (2878 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a short man with an even shorter temper. I get mad very easily and my wife says I have short-man syndrome. My wife can handle me and loves me despite this problem.

Luckily, I was also blessed in a personal department and I have no short-man problems to do with sex.

The other night, I got into a new fight with another hockey parent and the result was ugly. I won in the short run — the fight with the parent — but have lost in the long run. The parent went to the coach and I found out when I got home that the coach had phoned my wife — not me — and said he was fed up with my behaviour and he didn’t want me at any games or practices for the rest of the season. I wanted to confront the coach, but my wife said no or there would be unpleasant circumstances at home.

She said she didn’t want to sleep with a trouble-maker in the community, and in my boy’s life. So now I’m banned from the rink and must keep to that or I don’t have a sex life. Now what? I want to see my boy play!

— Angry Hockey Dad, Winnipeg

Dear Angry Hockey Dad: Perhaps your wife could film bits of the game when your son is playing, as long as you’re not using the videos to go over the mistakes he makes.

As for the problem with the coach, let this whole thing cool off to the point where it’s boring.

For the coach and you, this period is going to last to the end of the season. Your son’s still on the team, so leave it at that.

Don’t yank him away from his team and take him to another rink. He is not the cause of this problem. It would be a smart idea to start getting professional help with your anger problem and become an easier person for people to deal with.

Do it now before your son gets old enough to be fighting with you and cut you out of his life at the first opportunity.

Psychologists and psychiatrists are usually well-equipped to deal with anger management.

Perhaps you could really buy into it and work at a deeper level to try to work out the anger problem at its root. That may or may not be possible, but if you can get rid of the triggers that spark the angry responses — and it’s highly likely it won’t simply be a height issue — then you won’t have to be managing it because it will no longer be there to flare up.

You’ll end up with a better marriage and a better relationship with your son, with other parents and your kid’s coaches. You win in so many ways.

Dear Readers: Yours truly noted a 2017 breast-beating romance novel on the stands called The Truth About Love and Dukes by historical-romance author Laura Lee Guhrke.

Its plot revolved around a woman who writes a personal advice column, as I do, but this one was written secretly in the 1800s and called Dear Lady Truelove. The same woman also wrote a gossip column about the galas, parties, romances and scandals of upper-class London.

Writing in secrecy, Lady Truelove was the invention of a newspaper publisher called Irene Deverill.

Miss Deverill was actually a rebel, career woman and a suffragette. I read the book in a weekend.

I found an email address for the author at the back of the novel and an invitation for readers to write her. How could I not? I sat down late at night and wrote the American author about being a real-life Lady Truelove and also a social columnist in Canada. She wrote me back 12 hours later!

Here is her reply:

“Maureen: You are a real Lady Truelove? OK, you just made my day. And I’m so glad you enjoyed the book and identified with the heroine. Her sister’s story, The Trouble With True Love, comes out in February, and you won’t believe what happens when Clara has to take over the column!

“Thanks for writing. Is it OK if I mention your letter and your column on social media? llg”

That was such a fun experience. If you have a favourite author, check the back pages or his or her website.

They often offer an email address and invite people to write. Consider doing it, especially if you have a comment or a question. You could quite easily get an answer back.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6