No stopping distribution of private pics online

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This article was published 18/12/2017 (3166 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend is a re-gifter! Last year, I didn’t get to see him until after lunch on Christmas Day. Later that afternoon, I found out the pink and purple sweater he gave me was a re-gift from that morning. Someone gave his mother an ugly (but expensive) sweater and she didn’t like it, so she gave it to him to throw in with the bracelet he picked out for me himself.

I was hurt and turned off when he later told me about the sweater. In his defence, he said the two things together made a bigger and better present. I have never worn his mother’s Christmas sweater, and never will.

Last year, I gave him some tools he really wanted and a gift certificate for an erotic piercing he is really proud of, and gives us both pleasure. He said the trouble with that gift was he could never show anybody other than me, and he couldn’t tell his parents I got him something other than a couple of tools.

So what are the rules for gifting to please your love, because obviously neither one of us knows anything? — Clumsy Gifters, Osborne Village

Dear Clumsy Gifters: You are still young enough for friends and family to be curious about what your sweetheart gave you, so exchange one gift for show and tell, and then you can give each other things that are private, in private.

As for re-gifting something, don’t. The only thing worse is telling the person it’s a re-gift, so be careful if you’re trying to sneak one by, as it can hurt and insult the person. It’s just a rude thing to do.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I took a series of selfie photos of myself getting dressed for a fancy party starting with my sexy red-lace push-up bra and panties, then the little skirt and top and finally with the jewelry and hair done. I sent them to my two best friends. One of them sent it to a close friend of hers, who has no sense, and she sent it out to everybody on her Facebook list.

I got a message from an old boyfriend of mine that said, “Nice reverse strip, Babe!”

I was so angry! I had never meant for those photos to get beyond my two friends. I phoned them up, found the culprit and gave her a piece of my mind for sending it to a ditsy friend, who isn’t even close to me, who sent it to everybody for a laugh.

She apologized, saying she thought I was proud of it. In a way, that’s true, but it was not to send to strangers and a leering ex-boyfriend I never wanted to hear from again. How do I fix this? — Reverse Strip Accident, St. Vital

Dear Reverse Strip Accident: Too late! Thank goodness you didn’t start that set of photos off naked.

It’s out of your hands the day they are up and circulated. It’s even dicey sending hot photos of yourself to a current boyfriend because there’s a chance he’ll end up an ex-boyfriend one day, and still have those photos on his computer. If he’s the one who’s been ditched and is resentful, he may send something around that will embarrass you.

So, here’s the deal: you can’t send hot pictures out unless you don’t mind if they somehow get out online and thousands of people can see them.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a guy at a Hanukkah gathering last year and we both liked each other right off the hop and spent the night sitting on the piano bench together talking and ignoring everybody else. It was a meeting of the minds and hearts, or so I thought.

When he left, he said he would call me and gave me a secret kiss in the hallway. I gave him my cell number in his hand.

He never called me. Last night, I went to the same person’s party and he was there.

He tried to cosy up to me, but I told him to leave me alone because he never called last year and hurt my feelings. He still followed me around the party all night. Finally, he caught up to me and told me to give him a chance because he had a girlfriend last year, who wasn’t at the party because she was sick. He is single now. Should I give him another chance? I know where he works. — Obsessing On Him, Winnipeg

Dear Obsessing on Him: He may be cute on the outside, but he’s a little bit rotten on the inside. He was honest enough not to make a date and full-out cheat on his girlfriend, but dishonest enough to flirt all night, kiss you and tell you he would call you. Then he never called.

He gets less than 50 per cent on the honesty test and he’s already hurt your feelings before ever dating you. How would you feel if you were his lady and you were at home sick, and he pulled last year’s trick? That could be your future with him, too. Or, maybe not.

It may have been a one-time flirt thing he regretted and wouldn’t do again. It’s the chance you take if you let a guy like this into your life.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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