Sexually demanding ex-wife still in control

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/12/2017 (2847 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just found out my ex-wife is single again and is coming back to town to live in January. Losing her to a younger man was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had been trying to get rid of her for years, then she had an affair with this guy she met at work and they moved to Toronto.

I don’t know exactly what happened, but my guess is he blew her off once he lived with her and found out who she really is: self-centred, pushy, sexually demanding and a flirt with other men. She’s way more trouble than she’s worth.

I got rid of her by pretending I was impotent. She needs a lot of sex and reassurances she’s the hottest babe that every lived.

I have a new woman now and we get along perfectly. I never told her I pretended I was impotent to get rid of my ex. We have a great sex life.

If my ex doesn’t find someone in a hurry and sees I have a new girlfriend, she’ll start making trouble for me because she needs money (I have that) and she still claims she loves me in spite of my problem.

She is so nervy she would be quite all right with walking into my office, where she used to work for me, and leaning on the desk like she owns the place. She has the cojones to do that!

I know she’s moving back because she had the nerve to call me at home and tell me, with my girlfriend nearby in the bedroom asking who was on the phone.

How do I break it to her that my ex-wife, the big problem of my life, is coming back? — Here She Comes, St. James

Dear Here She Comes: The person with the problem is actually you. You are still fascinated by this dominant woman you divorced. You act scared and disgusted by her, yet you haven’t blocked her on the phone. And why would you answer with your new lady there? Can’t you see her name popping up? Why does she still have that capability, unless you want to take her calls? She’s still an exciting, if negative, part of your life drama.

The people at the front of your business operation should be told she can’t waltz into the building and get to your office without an appointment. If they already know her, tell them to expect she might show up and to refuse her entrance.

They shouldn’t lie and and say you’re not there, but they should ask if she has an appointment and make her wait while they phone and check. If she tries to push her way through, front desk needs to call security and have her escorted out. But you aren’t going to do that, are you?

As for your girlfriend, be upfront with her about the relationship with your ex-wife. It will be worse if she hears about your past “impotency” problem from someone else.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is half blind and refuses to get her eyes checked. She has amazingly beautiful eyes and says she doesn’t want to cover them up with ugly glasses. I always made a big fuss over her eyes.

Lately, I’ve tried to convince her that women with glasses look mysterious and intelligent, and some glasses even look wild and crazy, She always adds “and ugly.”

She hasn’t had her eyes checked that I know of, and she’s been driving a car for a long time. I don’t know what to do with her, but she is doing things that show me she can’t see, such as bending in toward her computer and squinting and rubbing her eyes at the end of the day.

She will wear sunglasses in summer because then she thinks she looks like a movie star. What can I do with her? — Worried She’ll Crash the Car, Downtown

Dear Worried She’ll Crash the Car: Beauty is one of her top values, so forget the glasses. Bring home information to get her interested in contact lenses or laser-vision correction.

You can probably ease her into prescription sunglasses for driving the car so everybody will be safe. Remind her the bright winter sun on the snow causes glare, and glare causes squinting and squinting creates lines around the eyes. Vain people can be tricked.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6