Santa’s got a special treat in his sack

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This article was published 20/12/2017 (3207 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have this crazy, new man in my life and he says he’s coming over to my place on Christmas Eve dressed as Santa and he wants me to be wearing black lace and a Santa hat. Is he crazy or just a lot of fun? I don’t know him well enough to be able to answer that question since we are just eight weeks in. We’ve had some great sex, and I think he’s quite sane.

Should I indulge his fantasy? He promises he’ll be bringing be a big gift, and I think he means an actual wrapped-up present. I don’t know what would be appropriate to buy him. At this moment, we’re in the beginning stage, but I’m kind of conservative and wonder if I wouldn’t find him sexier in dress clothes. What do you think? — On the Picket Fence, St. Boniface

Dear On the Picket Fence: Get off the pickets, Missy, and have some fun.

And please listen to this: you don’t mess with someone’s fantasy and start reshaping it and making it less. He wants to do this for you (and him!) and you would be a fool to pour cold water on the visualization.

Wear a business suit? Let him plan it all out his way and you take care of the food and drink and the Christmas tree that needs a soft rug close to it.

The bedroom decor should include a fragrant pine garland on the bed or dresser, and candles and mini lights, as you may be spending the end of the night in there.

A plate of cookies and glass of milk (or Baileys) may be required for his arrival, along with a Dear Santa note that’s suggestive!

Try to find out what he hopes will happen and what time he’s arriving, so you know how to play this game. Open the gates to fun and do nothing to inhibit this imaginative fellow you were lucky enough to meet before the holiday season.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The kids at my house are demanding toys we can’t afford, and they’re 12 and up, so they know who Santa is.

Should we tell them now, or let them find out on Christmas morning they’re not getting the expensive electronics they want? — Not as Rich as Santa, Windsor Park

Dear Not as Rich as Santa: Don’t start off insulting them by calling them the equivalent of greedy for wanting what they see dangled in front of them.

Just let them know that you have to be a little careful with the money, and you would like to still get them little gifts of love along with some bigger things they would enjoy.

It’s better to tell them now that you wish you could afford those gifts, but you can’t.

Ask if they could please amend their Christmas wish lists so it takes the pressure off and makes it easier for you to enjoy shopping for them. Tell them to make it quick, since Christmas is right around the corner.

Most people — especially young people — understand a budget as they’ve been broke lots of times.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Every year, I see this guy at Hanukkah parties and I like him, but he usually has this girlfriend hanging onto him for dear life.

This year, I met him at the first-night gathering of family and friends and he was alone. I sat beside him whenever possible, but he kept disappearing into other rooms and not coming back.

Do you think he was just trying to be sociable and talk to everyone, or was he trying to get away from me? — Couldn’t Nail Him Down, South End

Dear Couldn’t Nail Him Down: I don’t think he’s, er, nailable. If he wanted to get into an intimate chat with you, you gave him ample opportunities.

In the future, if a man at a party makes an excuse or just gets up and leaves you abruptly twice, then he’s not interested. Get that radar working, girlfriend! This guy is definitely a writeoff. He didn’t flirt with you when he had a girlfriend, and he doesn’t have one now and he’s still not flirting. An interested man would show a certain excitement and pleasure in being alone to talk to you at an event.

Don’t overvalue the hard-to-get guys. In a relationship, you want someone who thinks you’re great, not someone who’s cool to you that you have to chase all the time.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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