Don’t set yourself up to fail by making unrealistic goals

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/01/2018 (2836 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Readers: By now, many of you will have declared your New Year’s resolutions and some will already have fallen off the wagon. Don’t be hard on yourself — you may have made the wrong kind. The best ones for success are easy lifestyle changes. Here’s one that worked well for me in 2017: resolve to tell people in service jobs about when you’re not in a hurry, particularly clerks in stores. So often they are being pressured to go faster by pushy folks who just do it out of habit. If you find yourself behind someone who’s rattling keys and checking the time, look directly at the checkout person, smile and say, “Don’t worry. I’m not in a hurry.”

It helps them finish with the pushy customer, take a few breaths and get on to you for a pleasant experience. Then trade some nice conversation and wish them a great day. The next time you come in, they tend to remember and you have the start of a nice working relationship. Everybody has favourite regular customers, and you can be one of them.

Another year I had great success with the “more” type of resolution: more champagne, more chocolate, more concerts, more lovemaking, more mini trips and more friendly get-togethers for games. It worked like a charm! Some people are now going after a few “less” resolutions as well, such as less playing with cellphones in front of people, or the best combo in my books: less sitting at home and more adventures!

And on to the 2018 mailbag…

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I made a little slip on my New Year’s resolution from last January and started smoking. I went from just one a week to a few on the weekends, and now I’m back to smoking like a chimney. I don’t feel good, my clothes stink and my boyfriend is mad about kissing an ashtray again. He’s a non-smoker. I don’t want to smoke anymore, but I can’t seem to quit. Last year, I quit cold turkey and had no problem until about a month in. What do you suggest?

— Big Failure, West End

Dear Big Failure: Don’t quit quitting! Call in professional support. Talk to both your doctor and a pharmacist and learn about all the stop-smoking aids you can use and what’s best for you. Perhaps something from the pharmacy would not work with other medications you take, so be careful.

Don’t leave it all to other people. Get on the computer and research for yourself and have questions about products ready to ask. And sometimes it helps to look at pictures of lungs in recovery, going from black to pink. Good luck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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