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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m so sick of being alone and I find Valentine’s Day a harsh reminder of what I don’t have — a partner. I am also sick of people telling me the good side of being single and free. I don’t want to be free and alone. If you can tell me what to do for 2018 to get me a partner, I’d be most grateful.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/02/2018 (3108 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m so sick of being alone and I find Valentine’s Day a harsh reminder of what I don’t have — a partner. I am also sick of people telling me the good side of being single and free. I don’t want to be free and alone. If you can tell me what to do for 2018 to get me a partner, I’d be most grateful.

— Want Love in 2018, St. Vital

 

Dear Want Love in 2018: First, get your foot off the brake. You need a positive attitude. In the early years of meeting, dating and forming relationships, we are quite open to new romance. We have not been burned too badly or too often. We often jump into new relationships and take chances more easily. So what can you do about lingering pain and upset? Even if you think you handled past disappointments all right on your own, get some counselling to get rid of hidden resentments, present fears and negative attitudes. Clear the way for a new openness and start fresh.

Second, be aware it’s a game of increasing your numbers of single, available people in your life and pursuing a number of true and varied interests. The reason we’re able to hook up with interesting single people when we’re young is because there are so many singles surrounding us. After our early 20s, many people are getting married or living together.

But, the good news for adult singles these days is this: at around 30 there’s a first wave of people coming out of too-early marriages that failed. Another big wave happens around 40 and yet another after the kids have all left home.

Adventures: You can increase your number of single friends in Winnipeg after age 30 by joining Adventures for Successful Singles (adventuresforsuccessfulsingles.com), which has 2,000 adult members from Winnipeg and surrounding area. They offer sports, arts and social activities, plus weekend dances. If you start participating in activities that you enjoy and love, your best self will shine and people will be more attracted.

Meetups: Meeting like-minded people is easier when you actually get involved with an organization such as Meetups Winnipeg (meetup.com), which offers many different groups to try, according to your interests. Check out meetup.com to check out the more than half a dozen meet ups especially for singles. (Although, you do not have to be single to join the organization).

Singles travel: Travel on single cruises and you’ll meet lots of fun people who become a friendly, cohesive group on the high seas, and who go out to discover new things together at ports of call.

In other words, devote the next year or two cultivating a big group of single friends with similar interests and the odds are great you will meet one person who really clicks with you!

 

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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