Constantly ill co-worker not sick, she’s at the bar

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This article was published 28/03/2018 (3066 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My supervisor is an idiot. She misses all kinds of work because of illness and we have to carry her load, and yet she still goes out at night to the bars. Last night I ran into her out at the bar, after she missed three days of work.

I saw her coming off the dance floor and said I was surprised to see her there, asked how she was and told her it was hard at work without her help. She was drunk and said she would be back the next day and not to tell the boss that I saw her there.

I looked at her and said, “Have a great night,” in a sarcastic voice. She has the nerve and the power to make trouble for me. She’s that kind of woman. Nothing she does is ever wrong. Should I report her to human resources or the boss, or shut my mouth?

— Rock and a Hard Place, Transcona

Dear Rock and a Hard Place: Since you’re on to her game and you think she’s going to go after you, move fast. Don’t report her until you have another job offer as backup — always guard your income. When you first talk to the big boss about why you may be leaving, say you’ve caught this woman at the bar on nights after she’s been sick and caused duress at work, and how she warned you to keep your mouth shut.

Hand over a letter with those words on it in order to establish a paper trail, and you might want to copy the same letter to human resources and visit them. Mention you have found another job offer because you think your supervisor will be seriously gunning for you now. If your boss has been suspicious of her missing so much work, and now has proof she’s faking her illnesses, you may end up with two job offers.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a heavy-set dark-haired bear of a man with a killer smile at the bar and I really grooved on him and his big body and sense of humour. I started flirting with him. Then he turned his head, looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t play with me, girl. And don’t be taken in by a fat guy’s sense of humour. I am a serious guy.”

Then I felt uncomfortable and went to the washroom. I still felt attracted to the big guy, but he scared me a little, because I sensed a deep bitterness of a man who had been rejected more than once for being fat. When I got back from the bathroom he had walked away to the VLTs, back turned toward me. Should I have gone after him and tried to cheer him up by reassuring him I was attracted to him and his size?

— Rejected by the Rejected, Downtown

Dear Rejected by the Rejected: Stay “rejected” and don’t try to fix him. Don’t chase him, or you may find yourself in trouble. He sounds like an insecure, angry man who wants a woman to jump hoops to prove that his weight and distrust of women is your problem to fix. If you like bigger men, fine. Then find one who’s OK with his size and doesn’t have a bitter feeling and bad attitude.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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