Food court flirtation not so innocent

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This article was published 05/12/2018 (2516 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a man recently at a food court. We were sitting at tables side by side and he asked me if I would join him. I wasn’t wearing my wedding ring and he was cute. I told him I always came to the same mall every Saturday and he said he did, too. We started meeting and gradually moved into meeting at a more private restaurant.

Last weekend, he confessed he’s married, but I didn’t tell him I was, too. My husband has been involved in a long-term affair, which is fine because I can’t stand sleeping with him. Right now, this new man thinks he’s the bad guy and I’m the innocent one. I kind of like it that way. What do you think? — To Reveal Or Not, St. Vital

Dear Reveal: No one appreciates being the bad guy if the new love interest is hiding a mate and feigning innocence. You must tell your story.

It sounds like he wants to test the strength of your “friendship,” which seems more like a romance without the sex. The initial flirtation is over. Do you really think he doesn’t know you’re married? It’s easy to play detective on the computer.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Where is my life going now that my wife has died? I don’t know what to do with myself. We had a house together, and now there’s just me in it.

I have a business and I stay late just to avoid going home. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m in my 50s. What can you suggest for me?

I’m an animal lover, but my wife was allergic. The only thing I really didn’t like about my marriage was we couldn’t have a pet.

I love dogs, cats and birds. Would people think I was crazy if I adopted some right away? I’d love a dog to walk and I enjoy the snow. I used to have two cats, but gave them away when I got married. I have a huge house and yard, with woods out back. — Lonely Widower, Charleswood

Dear Lonely: Don’t make the mistake of asking a bunch of friends and relatives for their blessings, who’ll be quick to spout that old saw: “Don’t change anything for a year.” Be your own person and do exactly what you want. In fact, now is the time to get the animals you always wanted, and to shower them with love. Don’t wait to see who you’ll meet, and what she might think about pets. Instead, hunt down other animal lovers for the next big love of your life.

Want to meet sympathetic single people, too? There’s a new group starting the Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends course, Jan. 16, running every Wednesday evening for 10 weeks. It’s for people going through a separation, divorce or the loss of a partner. It’s offered through Adventures for Successful Singles (204-775-3484).

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in regards to Thinking About It, the woman who wrote about her violent boyfriend at work who wants her back. (Miss L: The boyfriend, a bodybuilder, slapped the woman when he was angry. She slapped him back.)

If this woman’s guy is a bodybuilder, it may be a matter of “roid rage” (as in steroid rage). Too many of these men use boosters to help their development, and it can cause anger problems in a lot of instances. It’s not an excuse, but it may be a heads-up for him to think about whether the extra boost is worth his relationship and his job. — A Guy Who Knows, Winnipeg

Dear Guy: Thanks for writing. My guess is the woman will make sure he sees this column, since they work together. But that doesn’t mean she should go back to him. Once a couple has started hitting each other — and it’s forgiven — there’s usually a honeymoon period, and then it gets worse, from slapping to punching and beatings.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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