Don’t trust greedy ex’s love declaration

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/03/2019 (2442 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I married a young woman who thought I was “fantastic” and I supported her for the first years. Then I got very sick and lost my well-paying job; she had to support us on her office assistant’s salary.

She soon treated me like a burden. She was a lady of leisure for five years and pretended to be having trouble getting pregnant.

I didn’t deserve her disrespect. It was her turn to help me for a while. She hated it and seemed to hate me for being sick.

I got fed up and divorced her. I further surprised her by slowly getting well through rehab and by becoming an artist. I can support myself (but only myself).

She heard I was back on my feet and moved into a nice condo rental. Last week, she had the gall to call me to see if we could get together again. I told her no. Then she said she still loved me.

I am pretty lonely and we did have a great sex life. I have nothing going on now. Maybe she’s changed? — Tempted Just a Little, St. Vital 

Dear Tempted: When you’re dealing with a greedy and lazy ex-partner, don’t bet on them changing.

She remembers the pushover you were and the cushy life she enjoyed. Then you had the nerve to give her the boot. She may just want back in so she can have the chance to turn the tables and dump you.

Think twice about opening yourself up to that peril.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother died and I miss her a great deal. She was always there with sympathy and advice when things went wrong.

I don’t like my husband much and his mother is certainly not an appropriate substitute as a counsellor, as I mostly complain about her son.

So, why don’t I leave him? Because I don’t like to be alone. I have a good job and enough money, but I don’t want to be the poor middle-aged woman with no partner. Please advise. — Not Lonely, But Unhappy, East Kildonan

 Dear Not Lonely: If you are with someone you don’t love or even like, then you are lonely — for friendship, love and physical contact. You might as well be sitting beside a stranger on a bus.

You need to talk to a counsellor or psychologist and figure out why you continue to live such an impoverished life when you could be filling it with adventure, travel and new friends.

Start counselling right away with a view to becoming independent and emotionally healthy. Don’t get relationship counselling, because it seems dead.

It’s good that you are financially secure. Use your money to improve your life. We only get one and time is ticking.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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