No ring doesn’t mean she’s single

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This article was published 11/03/2019 (2747 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I got a shock on the weekend. I’d been dating this sweet, beautiful woman I met skating who kept asking me to meet her again at The Forks, calling it “our place.”

She’d name the day, and pick out a table at the restaurant, generally one at the back and out of sight, “so we can be more intimate.”

I did not guess she was married. She wore no rings. We were out on our third weekend brunch date when this other woman came up to us, had a good look at me and said to my lady: “I didn’t see you at church again, but your husband was there.”

My date made light of the fact that she had totally betrayed me, as if everyone does it. She was immediately in a flap because this woman might tell people, and it would get back to her Catholic husband. She also said he was “scary when he’s angry.” She told me to go home right away and she’d leave after talking to this woman. She said she would tell her I was a cousin and that I had asked her for advice about my marriage.

I was shocked at how little regret she showed about deceiving me and how quick she was able to work up a lie to explain us being together. I have so many other questions. I need to talk to her once more, but I don’t have her cellphone number. Why didn’t I see through her? I’m getting madder and madder. What should I do?

— Her Blind Fool, The Forks

Dear Fool: She likes danger and drama. That’s the name of her game. You should have been suspicious when she didn’t give you her number. That sort of information is usually traded in the first meeting, if people like each other.

Enough of her! You don’t need her angry bull hubby coming after you, and you also don’t need any more of her games.

Next time you meet a lady who’s on the make and picking out-of-the-way meeting places, keep your distance. Ask yourself: what’s wrong with this picture? Why is she handling everything, and telling me nothing of her private life?

The absence of a wedding ring doesn’t mean someone isn’t married. The rings may be rattling around at the bottom of her purse, or stashed in a bag in the trunk of her car. She’s experienced at deception.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I like men in uniform and have had relationships with a few in the army and the police forces. I’d like to get past this fixation, as things haven’t been successful in the long run, and I’m getting older.

I dump them for being too rigid and secretive, or they dump me for being disorganized and too much of a blabber. I love to hear their stories of adventure and then I can’t help but tell a friend or two. How do I get over loving a man in uniform?

— Intrigued By Them, Wildwood Park

Dear Intrigued: Maybe you’re intrigued by a man in uniform because it denotes power and authority, having secrets, and being in the know.

You need an adventurous man, yes, but one who doesn’t mind telling his stories and having them told to other people. A man in uniform such as a police officer or a military man needs a woman who can keep a secret.

How about looking for a different kind of man of adventure, say a mountain climber or deepsea diver? At the heart of this problem, it’s you who needs to summon up the courage to take on an adventurous lifestyle, instead of hanging onto the coattails of a man. Lady, you need to go mountain climbing tomorrow!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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