Private lessons first step for reluctant dancer

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This article was published 25/09/2019 (2509 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It was with interest, and not a small amount of sympathy, that I read the letter from Dying For Him To Join, from the woman who wanted her husband to join her in dancing.

As a male, I took up ballroom dancing in my early 50s. I remember well being very self-conscious as a novice dancer, with little skill and little knowledge, but I also remember the patience shown by those ladies I mustered up the courage to ask to dance.

Aside from couples (who often dance only with each other), there are often many more females (follows) than males (leads) at dances and sometimes at group lessons, and so it comes as no surprise a male would want to dance with the wife who self-described as a “really good ballroom dancer.” It seems clear to me that Dying for Him to Join has no interest or intention of straying beyond her marriage.

Her husband may well be too shy to even try ballroom dancing — it can be overwhelming and intimidating — but perhaps private lessons would provide an alternative way to get him involved in her passion. Private lessons are offered at all the dance studios I’m aware of, both in Winnipeg and elsewhere.

The learning curve is much steeper in private lessons, and it would be one on one with just the two of them together with the instructor (there are both male and female instructors). It also provides a measure of comfort and shelter from feelings of awkwardness as a beginner.

I’m happy to tell you from experience that dance provides a very easy way to spend active time with the person in your life.

— Just My Two Cents, Winnipeg

Dear Just My Two Cents: Your two cents backed by experience means a lot. There are few people who cannot be taught to dance by a professional teacher, even if they can’t dance at home with a partner who’s trying to teach them. Often they don’t have the teaching skills, or they get impatient and it shows.

It is better to be taught by someone who knows every little trick and has all the music ready to go, plus the perfect dance floor. Learning to dance on a rug at home is almost impossible. There are half a dozen great dance schools in Winnipeg that can be found online. Methinks the dancing wife should do the research for her man and give him the phone numbers and a gift certificate for six lessons. One might not be enough to snare him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in lust with my next-door neighbour, who was sunning herself all summer in her backyard, much to my delight, quite visible from my second-floor window. I’d sit in an armchair with the papers and watch her out of one eye when my wife was around, but take in the full view when she was not. This beautiful summer-fall that returned was a big disappointment, as she didn’t come out again.

I know my little crush could be called that of a peeper — but she doesn’t undress, except when she takes her top off. She just lies there in her bikini and long hair looking like a movie star. I don’t think my wife knows what I’m doing and that’s part of the thrill. Is there something wrong with me, or is this just natural interest in the female form?

— Not a Real Peeper, River Heights

Dear Peeper: Most people would call it peeping Tom behaviour, and it’s likely this suntanning lady would feel freaked right out if she caught you. Plus, your wife would be highly unamused if she found out, and it could rattle your marriage badly. Most people do their “peeping” on computer so their mates don’t know. You are taking foolish chances.

How about you end your peeping by the window this season, and count yourself lucky you didn’t get caught? If you must, look at ladies in swimsuits online instead. If this woman next door finds out about your peeping and reports it to your wife and/or the police, it won’t be pleasant at all.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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