Cool your heels on hot crush

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/12/2019 (2435 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a man in mid-December who is still pinging like crazy in my brain and body. It wasn’t my office party, but a good friend dragged me to hers and introduced me to this work friend of hers, who just blew me away! He was my type to a T, and I could tell he was also totally delighted with me. My friend stood nearby, smirking, with that “I told you so” look.

He and I talked with our heads together for at least an hour, and then he just kissed me on the cheek and said, “So glad I met you,” and kind of disappeared. My friend said she saw him hurrying into a cab and taking off. We didn’t exchange business cards, but I know where he works and he knows where I work.

Miss L., I’m so disappointed he hasn’t contacted me! Meeting him really set me on fire. I loved everything about him — looks, voice, intelligence, sense of humour, ambition — as my friend knew I would. Should I do some detective work, or should I get my friend to do it? After all, she put us together.

I asked her why I hadn’t heard from him and she said, “Don’t worry. He likes you. He’ll call you!” I said, “How do you know?”

It’s been way more than a week — the usual time to contact somebody — and she said, mysteriously, “Give him a little more time.” Why is she being so secretive?

— Going Crazy Waiting, Downtown

Dear Going Crazy: Let it go, try to relax and do absolutely nothing. Your friend knows this guy and she’s on the case. It could be she’s waiting for him to break up with his present girlfriend, and then she’ll stop being so secretive. People try not to break up until after the new year. She’ll let you know when it’s the right time.

You know you don’t want to blow this one, girlfriend. If you get too antsy and call the guy too early and put pressure on him, you’ll mess it up. Sometimes you just feel it in your bones — that a new person is right — but you have to let it unfold without pushing.

Dear “It’s A Wonderful Life”: I can’t print your letter as it would give your identity away. What I can do is tell you I caught the sarcasm in your signature about a wonderful life. Yours isn’t anymore. You’re older and lonely. Your family is not reciprocating your gifts, home-cooked meals and desire to get together.

They’d prefer to take you out for a meal at a restaurant here and there. That’s their way. Could you learn to enjoy the experience of going out to different places?

If not, you have no choice but to get fully into the “joy of giving” to your family since you are over-generous and they are not interested in giving the same amount to you. Your desire for reciprocity is not going to come true in this lifetime, with such a small family.

To remedy your lack of friends, check out the nostalgia station CJNU 93.7 FM, where you can learn all about the opportunities for older adults to have fun, get out and meet new friends in Winnipeg. You’ll hear lots of public service announcements and special guests who are in the know.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I don’t know how to put this nicely, but my husband smells bad — to the point where I don’t want to share a bed with him anymore. I have begged him to go to the doctor we share. I think it’s something serious because he has showers daily, brushes his teeth and gargles — and still reeks.

He thinks I’m “imagining things,” but I’m not. He’s hurt and angry I have moved to the spare bedroom.

— Can’t Bear It, Westwood

Dear Can’t Bear It: Offensive, odd body smells are one of the body’s ways of signalling something is wrong medically. Changes in breath, sweat, urine and fecal smells can be serious indicators something is wrong.

So, talk to your doctor and rat your husband out, for his own good. You could save his health, and your marriage. So what if your husband gets mad when the doctor calls him in? Being afraid of a loved one’s disapproval rates way below saving that person’s life.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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