Helpful houseguests or insulting ingrates?

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This article was published 16/01/2020 (2419 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Readers: I received a laundry bag full of mail about the neighbour who felt insulted when she graciously offered her bedrooms to guests of the people having a big get-together next door. These guests quickly whipped off her sheets and pillowcases, and used their own. Next day, they carried their own sheets and pillowcases out in a garbage bag! 

My response was that the guests were perceived as being impersonal, and treated the neighbour’s house like a hotel. I stick to that response, and would up it to a “second-rate motel.”

Now, here are some of the spirited responses that came flying in on this debate:

The detail that the guests carried their own sheets home in a garbage bag indicates to me that these people were probably taking bedbug precautions.

I have several friends who had bedbugs, and it is devastating and very expensive.

Maybe the guests were unsure how to broach the topic, even though bedbugs are in no way linked to unsanitary conditions. Many people are still insulted if you ask about it.  

I am a home care nurse and I can tell you that bedbugs are everywhere, and they’re not going away. We need to be proactive and try not to bring them into our own homes. — Cheers from a Nurse, southern Manitoba

My thought was that the guests were just trying to reduce laundry and hassle! I believe their intent was not to insult, but rather to be helpful. Guess that idea didn’t work out so well… — Just My Two Cents, Winnipeg

I think it is quite possible the guests appreciated the hospitality and were trying to minimize the work (laundry) for the hosts. They did remake the bed, so it appears they were trying to leave the room as they found it. — J.P., Manitoba

If those houseguests and the hostess had simply spoken about the bedding, there might have been mutual understanding about scented laundry.

Everybody uses scented laundry products these days. But they cause serious suffering. Short-term pain might include asthma, nausea, migraines and distress. Long-term pain includes cancer.

Or, the guests may have been averse to polyester sheets and foam pillows. The chemicals in those also cause cancer.

Or, the guests may have been hosers! In any event, I wanted to give you this perspective. Sometimes people get mad needlessly, due to ignorance, wouldn’t you say? — Being Reasonable, Winnipeg

It is amazing to me how people can see the same situation and come to opposite conclusions. I thought this act was one of consideration and thoughtfulness. They saved the home owners the work of doing the laundry and remaking the bed. Happy New Year! — Looking for the Good in People, South Winnipeg

I say bravo to those guests! Nothing wrong with not having two beds worth of sheets and extra towels to wash.Those folks can come to my house any time! — Laid-back Hostess, Gimli

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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