It’s time to rein in randy beau

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/01/2020 (2092 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new live-in of one loooong month, wants sex four times a day — before work, after coming home from our day jobs, evening and at midnight, our bedtime. He says that’s how often he used to have his daily sexual activity before he met me.

When we were just dating we’d have sex once or twice in 24 hours if we were at his place. But now he wants me to be part of his crazy four-times-a-day “fitness” ritual. That’s beyond ridiculous, so it’s been a month of my telling him to hit the cold shower twice a day. He just says, “Why should I when I have you here?”

— Need Advice Fast, Osborne Village

Dear Fast: That would make sense if he were programming a robot, but you’re a person with a life. That life doesn’t include serving him sexually four times a day. Since he’s demanding this, and it’s not a joke, get your own place again. It’s 2020 — you have a job, no kids yet, and you’re not stuck.

You may or may not want to break up once you’re back to the old rhythm. But, HE will be embarrassed, annoyed and maybe hurt you couldn’t stand him for a month. His little world of family and friends will know you ran away from him ASAP, and it makes him look like a loser.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m absolutely in love with my girlfriend and I know she loves me. We’ve been talking about moving in together. We’re both in our 40s, so I know we both have a past that includes other people.

The piece of her past I struggle with is her short-term boyfriend who is now her “best friend.” I feel like they’re just too close for comfort.

It’s not uncommon for him to be invited over to drink to excess when I’m out of town. This is something I was aware of, and accepted, when we first started dating, but now that we’re getting more serious, it just makes me angry. Should I ask her to stop seeing him?

— Wondering, Wolseley

 

Dear Wondering: The old boyfriend comes over and they get drunk together when you’re out of town? Why are you being such a pushover? Where are YOUR boundaries? Other men would not have a relationship with a woman who does this. Why would you take a risk on moving in with her or continuing with her?

We all know willpower is lowered considerably when people are drunk and attracted in a private situation with a bed nearby.

There’s a possibility this becomes the thought process: “What the heck, let’s do it once more for old time’s sake, and he’s out of town anyway, so he won’t know.”

This situation could only work if you have an open relationship and see other women too, in or out of town, and drink and party with them in private. Somehow you don’t seem like that type. So why would you live with a woman who thinks it’s OK to shake your trust and confidence like this?

There is no other choice but to ask her to stop seeing him if you are to move in and feel secure with her, but she is the type to tell you not to be so possessive and get lost. So get lost voluntarily! It beats finding them in bed with two glasses and a bottle of wine on the bedside table at your shared home.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend is a fat, unattractive woman by most people’s standards, but I saw her as the beautiful, multi-talented, funny person she is. I’m pretty overweight myself. But now I’m shocked and devastated her new year’s resolution was obviously to get rid of me and take up with a guy from “our“ gym. This jock, by anyone’s standards, is much better looking than I am. By the way, I introduced him to her way back in late November.

She’s not grateful I rescued her from a life of loneliness and gave her all my love and understanding. She’s even lost noticeable weight and gained muscle since she’s been with him and has started working out near him.

 

— Bitter About Her, Downtown

 

Dear Bitter: Romantic love is not about gratefulness. She may have been grateful at first to be getting out and about socially with you and introduced to the gym.

 

You said yourself she had a beautiful personality and was funny. Others would have noticed it, including this guy she’s now seeing who inspires her to take off some of the extra poundage with him now.

 

Here’s how to get even: Take off weight yourself and pump iron for six months, and just see where that takes you. You won’t be interested in her anymore, but if you get the chance tp parade your new fitness past her someday, wink and say, “Thanks!” She won’t know exactly what you mean for a few minutes, and by the time she realizes you’re GLAD she hoofed you and that you’ve since gotten fit and hot-looking, you’ll have passed.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.