Split means clean break with mom-in-law

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This article was published 18/01/2020 (2415 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my mother-in-law, maybe more than my wife. They are almost identical, except 20 years different in age. My mother-in-law is sweet, while my wife has changed from that personality to a real whiner. I recently realized I NEVER want children with my wife, but I do want children by the time I’m 30. I just don’t want to lose my mom-in-law, which keeps me hanging on.

— Do I Sound Warped? Brandon

Dear Sound Warped: As soon as you make definite life-changing realizations about your marriage, it’s time to see a divorce lawyer and accountant. Don’t allow yourself to compete with your wife for her mother’s love and comfort when you split up. You can’t have it both ways, my friend. Maybe you can be friends with the mother-in-law down the road, but at first you need to be far away from the ex and her whole family. Other women will not want to date a guy who sounds like he’s way too close to his ex-mom-in-law.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend of two months gave me a gift on Christmas Eve — a “social disease” as he calls it. He swears he has no idea where he got it, but we had been having sex for only a week when this happened. I’m not telling you exactly which social disease, as he might recognize himself — and I’m not sure if I’m going to break up with him. I did tell him to get the problem fixed! 

I get the sense he may be lying to me and playing the field well after I quit doing that, which was the very night I met him two months ago. This thing I’ve got doesn’t take long to multiply and I am horrified by what happened. I’ve since gotten rid of the tiny things, and he says he has, too. But, I don’t know if I want to chance having sex with him again.

— Feeling Sick from Worry, Downtown

Dear Feeling Sick: Look, it’s too early to be in love with the guy. Already the trust has gone, and so has the initial “you’re-so-wonderful” infatuation. So what is left as a foundation for a new relationship? Do you even feel attracted anymore? You don’t need to chance another infestation of whatever you just eradicated, and you really need a clean start, milady. 

In solid relationship terms, this guy is a non-starter. You can certainly do better. If he’s a rational guy, he will have to understand your lack of desire to be intimate with him again. Besides, you two have nothing built up in the emotional bank to cover a bounced cheque of this magnitude. It’s likely there’ll be very little sadness for either of you if you walk away right now.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m going to live in another city and I’d like to have a goodbye party. I haven’t heard of any of my friends throwing one for me, so I was think of throwing one for myself at a bar with food service. What do you think of this idea?

— Saying Bye-Bye to Winnipeg, St. James

Dear Bye-Bye: This idea of yours sounds much better than trying to get yet another house party happening after Christmas and the new year. Consider a place with a few billiard tables and something to do. Much more fun to have a little tournament! If you’re leaving soon, get busy today and over-invite, just in case people don’t want to come out in the cold. If you don’t have more than eight friends to invite, better to have them over to your place for a goodbye dinner and board games. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a girlfriend of 14 months, and she ditched me just before the new year. I gave her a really expensive necklace with real gemstones for Christmas, and she gave me a kind of crude pair of stuffed undershorts. I don’t know what to do, emotionally. I am mad and kicking myself for wasting time and money on her necklace, too. What’s the best thing I should be telling myself to get over her?

— What a Drag This Is, Southdale

Dear Drag: “NEXT!” is the thing you might be saying, since your heart shouldn’t be too broken over this woman with the “rude ‘tude” towards you and your nether regions. Don’t waste one extra day mourning the loss of this girlfriend! 

Time for celebration, instead. If you have enough money, see if you and a few guy friends might go on a holiday to a sunspot destination and stay at an inexpensive place a block away from the sand, but with beach access. That costs way less and you can spend your money on entertainment  — and also come back with a great tan!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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