Just block out naked truth

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/02/2020 (2366 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife and I feel like the ham in the sandwich here on our new block in Winnipeg. We’re getting pressured to put our clothes on inside our own house.

We have curtains all around the house to let the light in, and you can partially see through them once it’s dark from next door, as it turns out. My wife and I are new to the indoor and outdoor nudist lifestyle and had no idea people would be so judgmental and immature.

I was outside shovelling my garage out after the last little dump of snow, when the guy next door jokingly said, “Well it’s good to see you put some clothes on for shovelling your snow. Bit nippy out here today! Hahaha.”

Apparently he’s been gossiping with the guy on the other side of us too, as he’s also been making subtle remarks in the lane I didn’t understand until that moment.

My wife and I are a young married couple and love our new “naturist” lifestyle and don’t want to give it up until we have kids bringing friends over. That’ll be years from now. What do you suggest?

— Refuse to Bow to Neighbours, West End

Dear Refuse: Add “café curtains” on the windows facing the neighbours. Just put up skinny rods halfway down the windows, with curtains that totally block the view from the chest up. Pull them closed when the sun is going down. End of titillation for your neighbours!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Six days ago my life changed. I got a call from my first love who had just come to Winnipeg from Toronto and wanted to see me. I just couldn’t say no! It’s been 10 long years since he went away and we broke up.

He’s been married and divorced since then. I have a boyfriend here, and I spend most of my time at his place but maintain my own apartment, for some reason. We are committed, or at at least I thought we were, until I instantly accepted this “couple of drinks” invite to see my old flame. Who was I kidding?

We met in a place with booths. When he saw me, he stood up with tears in his eyes, and held out his arms. I walked right in. We kissed in the restaurant in a way no one should be kissing in public. The waiter came over and loudly cleared his throat.

We came apart but sat on the same side of the booth, holding hands under the table. He said he’d never gotten over me, and I had to admit the same. That’s why I’d never married and given up my apartment, I guess.

His marriage in Toronto ended after a few years and he got a new steady girlfriend a while back. But he said he still had me “swimming in the back of his mind.” My professional career keeps me here.

So, he finally started looking for work back in Winnipeg. He recently found a job here, leaving his girlfriend in Toronto to see how it goes in the first few months.

She really loves Toronto and doesn’t want to leave. She’s hoping he’ll hate it and come back to stay there forever with her in Ontario.

He wants me to commit to coming back to him as his woman, and says he’ll end it with her, and maybe we’d get married and have a family “like we were meant to do.” It’s moving so fast! I don’t know what to say. Help!

— Sorely Tempted By My First Love, East Kildonan

Dear Tempted: Saying no to this “first love” hasn’t worked well the last 10 years, has it? It’s time to take a chance and say maybe. But first, he must end things with the girl in Toronto, and you must end it with your guy here.

Then you two can start “dating” again in Winnipeg. But don’t let him move in with you immediately, as you need to see if you’re really still are a match for each other.

If he won’t break off with the Toronto girlfriend until he sees how it goes with you, then forget it. He’s just hedging his bets and playing a game of musical chairs.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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