Try giving your folks some peace at the busy cabin

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/07/2020 (2255 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It’s the time of the year I dread the most — cabin time — when our extended family pretends they like one another to get time at the old family cabin we love. The cabin belongs to our parents, who like to live there all summer.

We’re now three grown-up “kids” with spouses and our own bratty kids. Last year there was a crush of people in that cabin, and there was pushing, yelling and some fighting among the boys.

My parents have put their foot down and say they won’t have company more than two weeks out of four in each summer month, as it is too tiring for them. They won’t even let people use their big yard for tents!

They’re getting older and crankier and I think they may sell in a year or two. This year we have only managed to book two weekends the whole summer with grandma and grandpa, and it’s not enough.

My wife wants us to buy a cabin at the same lake, but this is a tough time to be doing that financially, at least for us.  I asked her if she had any money saved, and she started to pout.

Bottom line is we want to be at that lake more than two weekends, and don’t know what to do. — Booted by My Parents, Manitoba

Dear Boot: It sounds like your parents are fed up with their freeloading grown-up “kids” and their darling grandchildren. They don’t even want you camping in the yard, as you’d be in and out of their cabin every few minutes. It must have been an uproar these last years, as the three families of kids grew bigger and louder.

Accept their wishes with grace. Look for different campgrounds nearby to explore. Then buy or rent a tent or two (a separate, private one for you and your wife) or a good-sized camper trailer and explore some new lakes, even further afield.

Roll with this new situation, and it could be a fun, totally new experience for your siblings and young families. It won’t cost as much as a new cabin, nor will it be free like other years, but it would be quite affordable.

Also, spend part of this summer looking around at cabins you might like to rent or buy, when your finances improve.

Kids are adaptable and enjoy new experiences as long as you and your wife aren’t openly grumbling about not having the grandparents’ cabin at your disposal. Simply put, it’s not yours!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into my old boyfriend at the mall. We were both wearing COVID-19 masks, but who could mistake his mop of red hair?

We had a crazy talk, still wearing our masks. There were lots of innuendos about the time we made out in masks, dressed in our superhero/heroine Halloween costumes after a wild party. At the end, he said, “I just want to pop that mask down and kiss you on the lips!”

I laughed and said, “I don’t think my husband would like that!” He pretended to wipe away a big tear — dramatic and funny. I wanted to kiss him, too!

Now I can’t stop thinking about him. He was always so cute, and my husband isn’t nearly as funny. Recently, I’ve had erotic dreams about my ex-boyfriend. We’re wearing our old Halloween costumes and masks again, and getting crazy together.

I felt guilty and kind of wanted to tell my husband, but I phoned my best friend and told her instead. She said, “Are you nuts? And wreck everything you’ve built?” What do you think?— Desiring Old BF, Windsor Park

Dear Guilty: Would you like to hear how turned-on your husband feels if he runs into an old sweetheart? Or about the erotic dreams to follow?

Spilling the goods about this incident might relieve your guilt, but it’d hurt your husband and he’d be suspicious you’re interested in your ex in a dangerous way.

If that’s not the case, but you’re still thinking the grass is greener, try this exercise: Look back on your breakup with the old boyfriend, and why it ended. Then, think about how wonderful and sexy it was when you started going out with the guy you married.

Can you use some imagination with him and get some of that fun back? It’s well worth it, since you’ve already made a life together.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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