Pandemic adds extra fright this Halloween

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/10/2020 (1810 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Halloween is a difficult celebration to handle this year, as we love the kids in our little neighbourhood “where everybody knows your name.” I bought a bunch of candy for trick-or-treaters who might come by and I’m using hand sanitizers and a COVID mask, but my husband says we should shut off the lights and pretend we’re not home. Ugh! I have decorated the yard as usual. What do you think we should do?

— Undecided Halloween Lover, south Winnipeg

Dear Undecided: If you don’t put any lights on, you won’t get any kids, and a lot of people are choosing to do that rather than take the risk of passing or receiving the coronavirus. People understand this year, and won’t think you’re a miser if you don’t dole out treats. But I’m guessing you’re going to do it! So, here are a few tips.

If you hand out treats, then apples and homemade treats are too risky, because your hands will have been all over them. This year it’s advisable for you to sit outside, with or without a costume, but clearly wearing a COVID mask. Beside you, have bowls of wrapped candy, and make sure you hand them out in a sanitary manner instead of having many little kids’ hands in the bowl. Tongs are good for handing out candies!

Don’t let the kids crowd in; gift them with candies one by one. To make it special, you might want to take photos of the kids as they come by, but individually. But, please don’t line them up close to one another for a shot! Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend and I are pushing 25. Because some friends we know have actually gotten COVID-19, we decided to keep a distance from each other, until the sick people we all know are well again.

In the meantime, we’re mostly just talking on cellphones — no sex, though, and we’re both missing it very badly.

We’ve decided we want to change that! The big computer screen feels too open and lacking in privacy. But, a phone screen? I’m OK with that and my girlfriend is finally ready to be persuaded, or so she thinks. Can you help?

— Responsible, Young & Frustrated, Transcona

Dear Frustrated: Congratulations on showing such maturity. Because of COVID, sexting and phone sex have jumped in popularity. There’s no touching, kissing or heavy breathing between partners, so no chance of passing the virus.

When it comes to sexting, while you will be exchanging photos and self-made videos, the better at writing erotica you are, the better the sexting will be.

Not your thing? With phone sex, there’s the advantage of hearing each other’s sexy voice, in the moment. Partners talking/whisper to each other while describing what they’re doing and what they’d like to do to their sweetie. They are, of course, stimulating themselves at the same time, in a private place, like a locked bedroom.

Doing it in your parked car is not recommended, as a police cruiser might pull up, wanting to know what are you doing. (“Step out of the car, please!”)

Remember, the photos and videos you and your partner send can be saved for a long time. Make sure the person who is receiving your risqué photos and videos, can be trusted past the relationship you’re having now.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just met a cute woman at the worst time ever for dating — in the midst of the pandemic. She was obviously attracted to me as well. I asked her out and she said, “I’d love to go, but I’m afraid, and also I have kids at home to protect. How about after this COVID thing is over?”

I said, “Are you kidding me? We have to keep living our lives, and it could be many months, or even a year, before people are vaccinated!” She gave me a “so be it” shrug, and walked away. I guess she didn’t like me that much, so she gave me the COVID excuse. What do you think?

— Real or Fake, North End

Dear Real or Fake: She was protecting her health and that of her children, and you made light of it. COVID-19 is a real threat. There’s never been a time in recent decades when dating a new person was so hard to do. The person you fancy may not be sick, but you don’t know where their friends and relatives have been recently. If somebody she met has picked up the coronavirus, it could be transferred to you in the end. Remember, there’s a period of a few days when the sneaky virus shows no symptoms.

Instead of giving her a huffy attitude, you should have shared your contact information or given her a business card or scribbled message, and said, “Please call me after all this is over, for coffee. I won’t forget you!” You see how much more understanding and endearing this message is? Time to get on board with this kind of method instead of getting touchy over a woman’s concern for the safety of her family.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.