Best to keep relationship platonic with office funnyman

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/11/2020 (2158 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m working with a funny guy who makes me laugh every day, even though we are many empty desks apart (darn COVID rules).

He’s a natural clown! I look forward to seeing him when I come into work every day. I actually feel down if he’s out on business calls all day.

I’m too afraid to ask around about his private life, although I know he’s not married. Nobody else volunteers anything about him, and we have to be “socially distant.”

The other day he worked from home because he wasn’t feeling good, so I came up with an excuse to call him with a question, and we talked for an hour! It came out he’s “very single,” but too scared to look for a new lady these days, with the virus going on.

I pushed it a little further, and he told me he “never dips his pen in company ink anymore” as he got into a relationship with a single mom where he worked before. When that went south, she kept her job because she was desperate to support her kids and he, being a gentleman, got another job. So, it seems he’s not available. I really want him.

— What Now? Downtown

Dear What Now: Enjoy the new friendship going on, and keep your mitts off of him! He’s got the COVID-19 lonely blues, or he wouldn’t have talked with you for a whole hour. And think about this: If he started dating you, and things went south again and it was miserable at work, it’d be only fair for you to look for another job.

Look, some people manage to get by the worst of a breakup with someone in the same office but it’s miserable for a few months — and often longer. Others are so emotional they can’t handle it at all.

So, enjoy his clowning at work, be a platonic friend and don’t start making sexual innuendoes which you and I know are very tempting to men who are feeling lonely and longing for some touch. He’s been through enough and he made a point of telling you so, particularly the bit about giving up his job.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife has undated letters in her purse, in a hidden pocket. I found them when I’d misplaced my keys and was looking for hers to get to the drugstore before it closed.

The letters on fancy paper are from another woman and they start with “My Darling.” My wife did have one girlfriend back in university which I gathered was a rebellion against her religious parents — and a failed experiment. Or, so I thought.

She married me instead, and I thought — until I saw those love letters — we were really happy. We have two kids we adore and a decent married couple’s sex life. I don’t know if she’s carrying those old letters to look at, or these are new ones, which are suspiciously undated. The writer doesn’t sign her name, but it’s obvious she’s a woman, as she mentioned, “I was bra shopping the other day and bought a satin one for you that I know you’ll love.”

What should I do? I don’t want to rock the boat. I love my wife and being married to her, and I never want us to break up or, God forbid, for me to lose having the kids under my roof with me. Please help me.

— Heart is Cracking, Winnipeg

Dear Heart: Take a deep breath. You’re going to have to confess you read those letters in your wife’s purse, ASAP, as it will be on your mind until you do.

Let’s hope your wife is just reviewing old letters she found somewhere — but not renewing that old romance. If that’s the case, you need couples counselling now. If worse comes to worst, and you’re devoted parents with shared custody of children, sometimes one half of the couple buys a second place down the street, or on the street behind, sharing a back lane. That way they’re still close for seeing the children.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography