Planning festive fun crucial for solo dad of three

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This article was published 21/12/2020 (2077 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a divorced dad with three young kids (seven to 11) and this Christmas they’re staying with me while their mom is out of town with her elderly parents, who are lonely and scared because of COVID in their city.

I get it, but I’m not qualified to make a great Christmas for kids! My ex-wife always did it and she was great at keeping them happy. But this is the first Christmas since our divorce and the kids never seem all that excited to be here, let alone on Christmas. I’m scared of letting them down. How can I keep three young kids happy and busy for a week?

— Unqualified Social Director, Fort Garry

Dear Unqualified: Many parents — usually dads — don’t know that good times with kids require planning and back-up plans. And also now you have to keep yourself and everybody safe from COVID! This means outdoor activities, so toboggans for Christmas would be a great idea, along with building a snow fort in the backyard and going for rides to see Christmas lights. Hot tip: study up to find the really good ones and take food and drinks.

Around home and in your neighbourhood, teach the kids how to take some really good photos with cameras or smartphones. You can also teach them how to make videos. Some families even make mini-movies at home, based on plots out of books or their favourite scenes from movies.

You should also stock up on unfamiliar books or movies to bring out in boring times. And be sure to make a list of phone numbers for mom, grandmas, grandpas, cousins on both sides and friends from school, so they can keep in touch with people other than you (and you can get a break).

Housebound with young kids in bad weather? Haul out a cookbook and bake and decorate cookies together. Check out craft stores with curbside pickup and get tie-dye kits and T-shirts — that’s an afternoon right there. And, as a life skill, you really should to teach them how to play cards and boardgames. Dig out your old ones, like Clue and Monopoly, and partner with the seven-year-old. You can do this, and it’ll be fun for you, too! Sometimes.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live in a large apartment building, and there is a very cute woman who I have now chatted with twice while waiting for an elevator over the last couple weeks. We just spoke again last night, and I can’t get her out of my head. We are both flirty, but I’m afraid of making a move and making her feel weird. My friends are telling me to just go for it. What would be a good way to ask her out, without coming across as creepy?

— Flirting on the Elevator, Downtown

Dear Flirting: Step back, Romeo! Yes, it’s handy to chase a cute woman in your own block, but in the age of COVID-19, you shouldn’t even be on the same elevator, sharing her cute air.

Flirting with people in your block is a bad idea anyway. It’s not like you’re living in the same house, but it’s almost as difficult if things goes badly in the end. Basically you give away much of your home “space” and free territory, which you need when you are just getting into a new relationship.

Then, if you have to get out of it, you’re still living under the same roof! Some people have been known to get into the elevator, see the person they just dumped, and get off on the next floor and run down all the way down. Then there’s bumping into each other in the parking lot. Why would you bring a possible mess like this down on your head?

That’s why people who don’t live in the same block move in with each other only when they’re sure of the relationship.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a younger single brother who earns way more money than my husband and I, and every Christmas he always outspends us when giving gifts to our kids. It’s at the point where the kids are almost disrespectful about the gifts we buy them, because “Young Uncle” trumps us every time. They are just young kids, so we correct their behaviour and move on, but it feels like my brother is the disrespectful one in this scenario.

He is, putting it lightly, a self-indulgent young moron who made a bunch of money in the stock market. When we talk to him about the value of gifts he’s giving, he says, “Why deprive your kids of nice things?” How can I get through to him? This is totally inappropriate and my wife and I don’t appreciate any part of it.

— Not Jealous, But Annoyed

Dear Annoyed: Tell your brother the kids would love him even more if he got to know them better. And tell him to please limit the money he spends on the kids’ presents, because you and your wife can’t keep up. That’s the simple truth, and he needs to hear it even if it embarrasses you to say it. Do make it plain you want him to be a great uncle to your children. Tell him you’ll invite him more often to come and spend time at your place once the coronavirus situation is tamed.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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