Face fact you’re both trapped in bad marriage

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/03/2021 (1985 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Love is a fine thing — if it lasts. Mine hasn’t, but my husband’s love has endured. I don’t know why; I haven’t slept with him in five years. I’d like to leave him, but he’s hanging onto me for dear life!

He has used his money to keep me with him; I admit I’ve always liked what money can buy. We lived a nice lifestyle and raised smart, educated kids, with household help. I never had to work a day outside the home. Now I’m so bored I cry into my pillow.

I know I don’t love him, and he knows it, and that’s sad. I feel sorry I don’t love him anymore, but I don’t even want him touching me. I married him because (to be painfully honest) he was so good-looking and I wanted beautiful babies. Predictably, we had beautiful children, but the last one left the nest two years ago.

Now I want out of the gilded cage! I want my health-care career back, to work hard at it, and to really fall in love with a new man for all the right reasons — to finally live an honest life.

My husband has offered to pay for upgrading my training. He is always so generous, yet I know he wants me to stay and this might keep me. But I don’t just want my career back — I want to be away, and be free of my “beautiful life.” What do you suggest?

— Need to Escape, Tuxedo

Dear Need To Escape: You need to make a settlement with your husband. Then, go get your training upgraded and get back to work while living in your own place. You’re a person who needs to flex her mental, physical and emotional muscles.

Your husband needs to be totally rid of you, although he doesn’t know it yet! His mature good looks and life of experience will hopefully help him make the choice of a new lady who really loves him, and not just for making beautiful babies.

Both of you could do with some breakup counselling together. It’s also not too late for individual psychological to help understand and avoid old mistakes and how to move on. People are often creatures of habit, unless something runs interference and they change their patterns.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is a suggestion for Tempted to Move — the person the with neighbour’s dogs barking excessively. I had the same problem for several years with the four dogs of my neighbour. The dogs barked pretty well from 6 a.m. until 8 or 9 p.m. and this went on for several years.

I phoned the city. An animal control officer came and gave the neighbours a written noise warning. I believe it was a $250 fine at that time.

Also, in regard to the person throwing dog feces over the fence, I’d call the city and see what could be done. If nothing can be done, my next step would be to phone the police non-emergency line.

— Neighbourly K., Winnipeg

Dear Neighbourly K.: This makes good sense, so consider your messages passed on. It’s very difficult to deal with thoughtless neighbours who see no problem with the noise of their animals. They shouldn’t have pets if they’re thrown outside from morning to night instead of being loved, walked, played with and given shelter from the cold. If the dogs are just kept captive there in all weather to guard the property, one may have to wonder what’s going on in the house.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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