Don’t let name game impinge on budding romance

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/03/2021 (2029 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 42 and have a new “boyfriend,” who is not a boy, by anyone’s estimation. I don’t know how to refer to him. My kids sarcastically call him “Mommy’s boyfriend.”

“Man friend” sounds a little contrived from me, and just “friend” is cold. We do sleep together when the kids are with their father. We are falling in love, very slowly. The kids want their father and I to get back together, but that is never happening. Their father, it turns out, was never true to me in the 11 years we were married.

I’m tired of the kids calling him my “boyfriend” in that snotty voice kids use. What else could they call him?

— Awkward Times, Charleswood

Dear Awkward: Some women say “my guy” but kids are less likely to want to say “Mom’s guy,” because of their father, and their wish you’d get back together with him. Mom’s “friend” would probably be alright for them, as they want to think it’s not serious. You can call him your boyfriend with your grown-up friends. Oddly enough, that is acceptable with the older crowd!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m learning quickly the close neighbours I’ve pretty much ignored don’t give a darn about me either — even though I obviously need help these days.

I’m not sick, but have bad legs. I kind of stagger to my car, and then I’m in control again. When I get back home, I have to get to my door, carrying groceries. Adult neighbours may be walking or even running by, and don’t ever stop to ask if I need a hand!

When my kids were gone, and I was still strong and doing tons of activities, I wasn’t taking much notice of those neighbours, who actually tried to be friendly then. Now, I kind of need them. What can I do?

— Mrs. Stuck Up, Windsor Park

Dear Mrs. Stuck Up: During a pandemic is not the best time to get friendly and hope for help from the neighbours, but here are some alternate ideas.

First, get a light, waist-high two-wheeled cart to unload things from your car and push to the door. They carry quite a bit, and will fold down to store or put in your car. Hopefully you carry a cellphone or use a safety service like Victoria Lifeline (victorialifeline.ca or 204-956-6777) who can track where you are. If you fall, they send help and contact your family or close friends.

To eliminate the grocery carrying problem, you can phone in or email your grocery store orders for delivery to your door, which usually costs around $10. Then you’ve totally eliminated a dangerous problem from your life.

For a social boost, the Manitoba Association of Senior Centres (204-792-5838) makes it their business to know everything that’s going on for seniors. Also, make sure to get vaccinated and ready for new freedom in coming months. Make a list of activities you’d like to do to get back into an active life.

Now a word about the neighbours you’ve snubbed for years: It’d be insincere to go after them in a big way now you want something. But it wouldn’t hurt to greet everyone and be friendly this spring.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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