Sort out what your ‘Prince Charming’ actually is

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/05/2021 (1922 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I need someone to pour some sense into my head. I’ve been single for a very long time. I had a nasty divorce after an abusive arranged marriage — my ex served time in jail for all that.

I’ve been on dating apps the last couple of years and had kind of given up on meeting anyone as things never seemed to go anywhere.

I have a high-paying, stable career, a good education, two kids and a house. I’ve done well for myself raising two kids alone without any support or family here. I just turned 32.

One day at the peak of the second wave of COVID, I was swiping right and left aimlessly, and I swiped right on a guy who was OK-looking, but his bio was intriguing. We connected immediately. After three months of waiting due to COVID, he asked me out on my birthday.

We went for a walk, a patio dinner and he brought me flowers. We’d been texting each other endlessly during this time, evolving into late-night phone calls as well. Now he calls me daily, which I really like. It feels like I’ve known him forever.

My problem is he’s nothing like I ever imagined my Prince Charming to be. He’s kind, considerate and seems like a really good man. He has this amazing, soothing voice, is a good communicator and treats me very well on the phone.

But we seem worlds apart. He’s from rural Manitoba and works in agriculture, yet I’m drawn to him. Is this my “COVID attachment” or am I feeling an actual connection?

How do I tell him I really like him, but that he may not be the one? Does that make me a bad person? Or should I explore possibilities with him and tell him all I’m looking for now is dating? I am so confused. Please help. — So Lost in the City, Winnipeg

Dear Lost In the City: Your arranged marriage (by the relatives on both sides, I presume) was brokered for financial stability or status, and look what happened. As it turns out, you don’t need anybody to support you.

If you reject this man who may have a heart of gold, because you’re judging him by the money-and-status values of your family, then you didn’t learn much from the last experience.

Your new task is to find a beautiful soul with personal compatibility, kindness towards you and your children, great communication, plus love and sexual attraction.

Are you not attracted to him physically? There’s nothing you can do to fix that. Then you are just friends.

If you only like his “niceness,” you must set him free to find a woman with whom he can have a full, loving and sexual relationship. Then you must look elsewhere for someone you’re attracted to in every possible way.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing in response to the woman who signed Friends No More over her pal’s COVID denial and anti-mask and anti-vaccination stance.

I am an emergency physician and I respect people’s choice to smoke, but I don’t have to inhale their expelled smoke. Public areas are generally smoke-free. We have created areas where smokers can gather and not impact the rest of us.

You can refuse the vaccine. You can refuse to wear a mask. But don’t go anyplace where anyone else has to inhale your expelled breath.

That is truly respecting our choices and sacrifices to stay safe. — Please Stay Safe, Manitoba

Dear Stay Safe: If anti-vaccine and anti-mask people and their housemates could stay together at home all the time, perhaps they would not risk lives outside those little circles.

But that’s not reality and not human nature. It just won’t happen as people have to work, shop and socialize (to a degree) right now.

Many of the anti-mask and anti-vaccine folks are counting on 70 per cent of the population to be vaccinated and then they’ll ride on the coattail of “herd immunity.”

Even when that degree of immunity exists, it doesn’t wipe out the virus totally — and COVID is quickly developing into more-contagious variants.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography