Out of sight, out of mind for bitter, spiteful neighbour

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/05/2021 (1958 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I hate my neighbour and her stupid dog, and she hates me. The witch walks her dog early and stops on the boulevard outside my house to encourage her dog to do his business on my stretch.

My cat doesn’t go out, so there’s no way to get even. Also, this neighbour parks her freakin’ truck outside my front window, and blocks my view.

She hates me because I threatened to report her to the police for running a little business I won’t mention. She just tries to get even any way she can! How can I get her and her disgusting dog out of my sight and not have to see her when I’m in my backyard?

— Enemies, Windsor Park

Dear Enemies: Your best bet is to fence off your yard with those popular faux greenery panels, but do it well inside your property line so you two aren’t fighting about that. If you have a deck, use them up there — at least on her side. It’ll be a treat for you both to not be able to see each other — aside from the morning deposit on the boulevard. You could avoid seeing that if you close your curtains when you know she and Fido will be out for the revenge promenade.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a creative person in my mid-20s and my parents hate it. They are first-generation Canadians and don’t see any value in the work I do.

While I’m not doing it full-time, I have made some good money off it already. When I showed them my work album and things that have already sold, they barely looked at me. Instead, they asked me about going back to university. Art is what I want to do for a living, and while I understand that could mean I will live a quaint artist’s life, that’s OK!

I don’t want kids and nobody depends on me except my cat. (When I told my parents I didn’t want kids they were also pretty upset; I’m an only child.)

I love my parents and I want to be closer to them, but I know they hate my life choices. How can I even begin to try and mend this relationship without having to sacrifice who I am? I don’t want to always feel like their idiot son.

—The Artist, Downtown

Dear Artist: Your parents think there’s only one sure path to financial success in this country, and that’s hard work and going to university. Did they do without and save up for your degree? Are they expecting you to be a doctor or dentist?

If you take fine arts instead, might they be partially placated? They may still worry you’re going to end up unemployed forever. You need to address their worries and tell your them your plans for the future — even if it takes them a while to absorb what you have to say. They may not totally understand until you’re obviously successful.

Most parents — especially those with only one child — want to give them the absolute best. If you have a niche market that guarantees you a decent living, share that information with them now, so they can relax.

They’re just worried for you. It comes across as disapproval, but it’s really a function of their love and protective feelings. They want you to be financially comfortable at least and not living without things you need, as they may have had to do in the past.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been living with my man, a very lazy guy, for a number of years, and I’m so tired of trying to get through to him about his messiness. I am a clean and tidy guy myself. He never cleans and thinks because he doesn’t expect me to clean, that I shouldn’t expect him to clean.

He wants me to “get off his back.” News flash! If I don’t clean, we will live in filth.

Everything else is mostly good in our relationship but it feels like this is building into something that’s going to eventually spill over and make things bad. I don’t want to leave him; I just want him to offer to pull his weight around our place. Are these things even teachable? Is it too late? We are in our late 30s and I worry I may not be able to teach this old dog new tricks.

— Not His Maid, Wolseley

Dear Not the Maid: You have been his maid, so quit. You need a cleaning service to do his part, and he needs to pay for more than 50 per cent of it. Don’t put forth this idea until COVID is under control, but use the beauty of this future possibility to calm yourself down.

In the meantime, put a big box in the hallway and dump everything in there that’s his and has been sitting around on surfaces and floors. Then he has to deal with sorting “the Bin” to find his stuff, and you have a clean home all around it. As for doing surfaces (counters, floors, appliances and mirrors) pick a weekend morning, crank up the music and see if you two can do it together, within an hour. This may be a lost cause but it’s worth a try to keep you together!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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