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This article was published 08/06/2021 (1889 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The quiet “vanilla” man I married has become a sexual mystery to me. He suddenly wants to try all these new positions, and even to role-play. This behaviour is like night and day from the man I married. We even purchased some sex toys last week.

I’m not really complaining, but who is this new man? At first, I thought he must be cheating on me, and learning new stuff from another woman. Then, I finally got into his computer history and he’s been surfing porn sites! I’m loving the much more sexual man he has become, but I’m kind of turned off by some of the sites he’s been looking at. Some are scary. What to do?

— Nice Guy or Beast? Norwood

Dear Nice Guy or Beast: Don’t fret! You loved his regular personality, and it’s still there. But now your conservative husband is turning out to have an adventurous side he wants to explore with you when you’re private and alone. Hurray!

He hasn’t been learning new moves from another woman. He must feel very secure with you, to share his new, wilder interests. It’s online schooling he’s getting — and there’s all kinds of it, but he won’t like all of it.

You should explore some sites yourself. That’ll stimulate discussions you need to have, so both of you are comfortable with the kinds of experiments you try. At home or in the car, when just talking and relaxing, that’s the time to talk about porn sites that turn you on or off, and why. You can talk about limits, and what you’re both willing to explore. This could be fun. Just don’t shame each other about different tastes. Instead, look for as many mutual interests, as you can find.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have lived with two housemates since the beginning of the COVID. I’m the only woman. Early on in the pandemic one of the guys and I “mated up” for the duration of COVID. Our other roomie had a girlfriend. They just broke up, and he’s very sad.

The other guy and I are just sex buddies, so one night when our friend was moping around and feeling lonely, I said I was coming downstairs to check on Mr. Heartbreak, and found him crying quietly. I just took his hand and brought him up to bed with us. The first night we just all three slept together with me in the middle like three spoons. The next morning my usual bed mate left for work early, and said, “Enjoy yourselves!” on the way out. What an invitation. Now I make love with one or the other, and we often just sleep three in a bed, cuddling.

We never have a sexual threesome; it’s just a bed sharing. Is this weird? I have told only my best friend. Now she laughingly calls us “the Three Bares!” It’s nice in this seemingly endless pandemic to be so warm and cosy at night. But, what will happen in the end?

— Three Cosy Friends, River Heights

Dear Cosy Friends: Times have changed in the last year-and-a-half. People have needed affection and company, not necessarily needing the old rules. They worked fairly well — when there was plenty of opportunity to find new partners and lovers.

You three are coping with the long-term loneliness, and it’s working so far. The only thing that could mess it up is other people’s criticism, so why not button your lip and enjoy your unusual trio?

Don’t tell one more girlfriend, as this is juicy gossip and might be repeated. You might even make a pact with your two sleeping partners to keep it private.

And don’t worry yourself about what will happen in the end. It may just be a drifting off and a lingering fondness, unless two of you (and it could any two) start developing feelings.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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