Romance has clearly bled out of relationship, Drac

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/07/2021 (1856 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was making out with my girlfriend and got so worked up I accidentally bit her. She got really mad, called me a “freakin’ vampire” and went home.

I was frustrated, so I ordered a pizza, ate it all, then fell asleep. In the morning I found five texts from her; the last one told me to “get lost!”

I think this issue is too petty to break up over, but she’s pretty immature and breaks up with me all the time, like it’s nothing.

I don’t think I’m in love with her anymore. Should I just let the relationship stay broken? — Freakin’ Vampire, Norwood

Dear Vampire: Pigging out and falling asleep instead of wanting to make up is a sure sign you’ve had enough of her nonsense.

This would be an opportune time to back out. She may never call again, but it’s likely she won’t be satisfied with your silence.

If she does call, quietly say, “I’ve had enough. Have a nice life.” It’s a boring but final exit line not likely to stir up another fight.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My life stinks. I’m not old enough to legally get a job yet and my parents have made me their servant, saying it will “keep me out of trouble” this summer.

Every morning I have a new list of jobs to do before Dad gets home for inspection — gardening, grass-cutting and cleaning out their hoarders’ garage which is so full we can’t park a car in it.

We have basement windows that flap up and hook. I loosened the screen and can sneak downstairs and play video games for 30 minutes at a time. If my mom yells for me outside, I yell back that I’m using the bathroom downstairs, run and flush the toilet and come up the back stairs.

I don’t know how I’m going to get through the summer. Help! — Miserable Only Son, North Kildonan

Dear Miserable: Your parents are trying to keep you busy, and they may be running out of legitimate projects. So, help them.

Hit up the neighbours and try to hustle some side-gigs mowing their grass and gardening, like you do for the folks, or even walking their dogs. Get a little “odd jobs” business going and charge fair rates by the hour or by the job.

Your biz could get you out of your parents’ hair, stem your lonely and angry feelings, and make you some serious money.

Also, having your own business gives you something impressive to put on job applications in the future.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is a new widow. She and my dad seemed to have a great marriage, but in recent years, he got really ill and couldn’t live at home.

When his death appeared in the obituaries, I was over manning the phones for a few days and Mom got a ton of sympathy calls from people — too many of them men. She also got a big bouquet of roses from one guy. I thought that was a bit odd.

Miss L., I’m no fool, and my dad was sick for several years. I had no doubt my mother had lots of friends, but I was shocked she had so many men in her life and that she seemed so happy talking to them.

I snapped at her: “Mom, can you not give your husband a few days of actual mourning?” She looked like I’d slapped her.

Then she said, “I mourned my husband for two whole years. Where the heck were you?”

I still tried to tell her to show some respect, but she pointed at the door and told me to go home! Please help with this. — Embarrassed by her “Popularity,” Southdale

Dear Embarrassed: Let’s talk about what’s really bothering you. You’re mourning your dad’s passing, and it’s hard suspecting your mom has male “friends.” But, she may have mourned her husband for a long time when he was ill. It may have been very cold and lonely at home. And yes, she may have had a bit of a love life recently. That’s shocking to a son of any age.

So what do you want her to do? Your dad has been released from his bondage. She’s alone. You don’t know what your dad may have given her permission to do!

Not long before my grandma died, she told my grandpa it’d be OK with her if he found someone new when she was gone — and he did. He remarried in his 80s and he and his new wife had some nice years together.

Apologize to your mom and promise to keep your comments on the kind and understanding side from now on!

She needs and deserves company. You may or may not like her choice of new men in her life now. But at least she’s not willing to give up on her own life, nor is she depending on you for a social life.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.