Summer fling could be good, fleeting fun

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/08/2021 (1831 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My neighbour — a single-again man in his 40s — tans in his yard by his pool before going to work every day. He looks like a weight-lifter (what a hottie).

I operate my own business from home, so to not to be overly obvious, I go out and weed my garden every second day and get a good look at his bronzed body stretched out on a lawn chair. We sometimes talk over the fence. I found out he’s double-vaccinated — and so am I!

The other day he walked over to the fence and asked me if I wanted to go come over and swim in his pool, since it was such a hot day. I just happened to have my red bathing suit on, so grabbed a towel and went on over.

He was playful and flirtatious and we had a ball. I know where this is headed, but it could be awkward if we have a fling and it fizzles out. If he had other women over, I’d be jealous if it were flung in my face. But, to be sure, I want him, and we do get along so well!

— Summer Fling? River Heights

Dear Fling: My guess is, you’ll jump that fence. Social life hasn’t been good for more than a year and a half for most single people — and for many it’s been non-existent. Look, this flirtation may be good fun for a while, but it may end up being awkward. Still, it’d probably be the most fun you’ve had in a long time and I’m betting you’ll go for it.

If the romance lasts a short time, and you don’t want to see him with other women in the pool, you could put up patio tent or something else to block the view. Plus, summer is short — fall will be here in six weeks.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a big eater — always has been. When we were younger, he wore it better. He was never small, but now he’s just plain overweight and out of shape. He isn’t the big, strong ox I once was enamoured with!

I think he might be a little depressed, but the weight gain was trending up pre-pandemic. I estimate he’s gained 50 more pounds and his belly hangs down over his belt.

I don’t want to have sex with him anymore, and he asks for it a lot. We have no kids and I’m thinking of leaving. What can I do?

— Sad Young Wife, Transcona

Dear Sad: Postpone leaving your man to give him a chance to get help for what’s eating him. He needs to agree to see his doctor about the depression and weight-related problems. His doc may may be able to refer him to talk with someone, and psychiatrists are covered by provincial health care, while psychologists are covered to an extent by many work insurance plans. Weight Watchers has an online program, and most doctors are familiar with it.

Try to get him to talk about the root of his urge to overeat. Explain how the rising weight is killing your sexual desire for him, and that you want your old husband back — not slim, but healthy. Ask him to consult his doctor about safe weight reduction to seek testing weight-affected levels such as blood pressure and blood sugar.

Explain to him that you require some serious changes in order to stay in the marriage, and ask him if he’s interested to commit to a start date for a comprehensive “get healthy” plan both of you can take part in to save his health and your relationship.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into an old girlfriend of mine and I just about fell over. I don’t know what she’s done to herself, but she looks better than she did six years ago when I was seeing her. She was on a separation from her husband then, and I really fell for her — but she went back to that rich, old jerk.

They just broke up again, and I’m guessing his money bought her the sexy looks she has. She’s a lot of fun and I’m tempted to try again with her, and risk my heart. She claims she doesn’t want anyone right now — she just wants to be free. What do you think? I find her…

— Hot and Tempting, Winnipeg

Dear Tempted: If she wanted another run at you, she would not have told you she wants to “be free” now. Believe her, or she will have to tell you again, only not as gently. She shouldn’t be too hard to pass up, as you already got over her once, and are mostly attracted now by her new looks.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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