Be tactful in confronting gabby eater

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This article was published 25/08/2021 (1816 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend has a disgusting habit of talking to me while she’s preparing food. She talks, and spit droplets are flying all over the food. It makes me sick! I don’t know how to tell her to keep her mouth closed when she’s standing over food, unless she wears a mask.

To make matters worse, while she’s eats, she’s an open-mouthed talker. She needs to chew, swallow and then talk. I don’t need her food flying over the table onto my plate from her mouth!

— Not a Germophobe, North End

Not a Germophobe: It’s difficult to have the “stop spitting when you eat” conversation with someone outside the family unit. You can tell your kids to chew with their mouths closed, but girlfriends will be hurt.

For now, you can get away with putting on a mask first, and handing her one. Say pleasantly, “Honey, you’re a bit of a spitter, so please put it on.”

If she gets mad or hurt, just back off getting together again when prepping and eating meals at home are involved. Takeout food, eaten in the park or a backyard, or in the living room away from the dining room table, could work. Or, just take full control of the food you cook before she arrives.

As for your girlfriend chewing and talking, say in a gently amused way, “I can see your tonsils when you chew and talk at the same time!” You’re doing her a favour by correcting this behaviour, as other people who don’t know her and care about her may dislike the habit, and avoid her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My dad is bad news. I live at home and recently started dating a cute guy, and my father is already “on me” to bring him home. He wants to give him the third degree, so I try to pretend he’s not a real boyfriend. Dad isn’t buying it.

My dad is a bit old-school, and he wants me married and well-looked after — and having grand-babies for him. I’m only in my early 20s. This is too much expectation for anyone my age! So, I’ve been doing the only thing I can do — sneaking. I was managing this well, because we work together. Then Dad found out about him from the family snitch — my younger sister. Now, my father really wants to meet him.

My mother? Not so much. She doesn’t like my dad’s attitude either. What now?

— Dad Demanding Audience, West End

Dear Dad Demanding: Try to work this intro through Mom. She understands your father. Ask Mom to meet the guy for 10 minutes at the door when Dad’s not around. Let Mama sing his praises if she likes him, and then let him come by to pick you up for another quick date when Dad’s there — like going for an ice cream — and bringing some home for the parents.

Kiss the new boyfriend goodbye a block away so there’s nothing going on when you get back to your house. Gradually let Dad get used to the guy coming over. This may not be your true love, so try to keep it casual for everybody’s sake. For instance, refer to him as “my friend from work,” and not “my boyfriend” to your dad — until you know how much you care about this guy.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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