Rock ruse proves to be destructive move

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This article was published 30/08/2021 (1858 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My baby’s daddy said he was giving me “a diamond” on my birthday, and he did. However, it was not a diamond engagement ring, as he led me to believe! It was a lousy pendant.

We are living together with our baby son, and I thought we were finally going to get married. He knew that’s what I thought, but he tricked me in a mean way.

I had been so excited! I’d told my sisters and my mother he was giving me the engagement ring I picked out. We’d been shopping and I showed him the one I loved in the store, and he kissed me right there. I thought that sealed the deal.

My respect has gone for him. I still feel I have a bond with him, as he’s the father of my child, but I don’t like him anymore. I may still love him deep down, but my nose wrinkles when I talk to him now, like there’s a bad smell in the room. I can’t help it.

I used to have a high sex drive, believe me, but my sexual feelings for him are low now. Sex just once a week is all I need, since he tricked me.

I’d leave him, except he’s supporting me and my baby right now. I’m applying for a job with my former company and it looks hopeful. My mom, who’s living alone in her house, has invited me to move in with her, and she’ll babysit when I’m at work. Should I leave this guy?

— Deeply Disappointed, Fort Rouge

Dear Disappointed: It may feel demeaning to mention it (no woman wants to beg for a diamond ring), but you need to bring up his deception very plainly. Tell him he led you to expect a diamond engagement ring and gave you this necklace instead — not the same thing, and he knows it.

Don’t let him say you were expecting too much, when you’re already living with him, went through pregnancy and are parenting his baby.

He may take that diamond out of the pendant and put it into a ring — the cheapest way out — or he might buy a whole new ring; or he might just walk. Chances are not good he’ll be a changed man, whatever he does.

It may be time you established your own independent life. There are some attractive, honest, marriage-and-family type men out there looking for love. Your current guy made it clear he’s not one of them.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother-in-law loves me in the wrong way. She’s always saying — in front of me — that she wished she’d found a man like me. I laugh her off and say: “Too late!” She’s an afternoon martini drinker. She sits out by her pool and starts drinking at about 2 p.m. Then she’s drunk and ready to go to bed right after supper.

Now this happened: My wife asked me to drop something off for her mother from the drugstore on my way home from work, and Mama-in-law yanked me through the door. She was still in her bikini, and smashed! She grabbed my arm and asked me for “one little kiss.” I yelled “no way!” and shook her off, and I took off for home. Should I tell the love of my life what her mother did? It will break her heart.

— MIL Grabbed Me, River Heights

Dear Grabbed: Don’t keep this secret from your wife. She probably won’t be surprised. She knows her mom’s an afternoon lush, and likely also that she has a crush on you. Expect your wife to pick up the phone and let her mother have it!

Also expect you won’t be asked to be the delivery guy for anything after this. If your mother-in-law phones you secretly, say a speedy no and make your next call to your wife to report on her.

Happily, grocery and drug stores got into high gear delivering goods when COVID kicked in and haven’t stopped, and restaurants, big and small, deliver more than ever.

Your mother-in-law doesn’t need personal deliveries her daughter can’t or won’t handle. She just wants a way to see you, but your personal delivery service has folded for good.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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