If it’s love, make one city work for you both

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/12/2021 (1685 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My “not so ex” boyfriend will be driving back from Ontario for the holidays, staying until New Year’s Day. We have remained friends, and recently things have escalated on the phone to “I love you” and phone sex.

So, here’s the problem. My ex has hinted he wants to get serious and “put a ring on it” this Christmas and I’m not sure I want to go that fast. When he left Winnipeg, he was heartbroken I wouldn’t give up my job and go with him. By giving me a ring, he may think he’s upped the ante enough for me to ditch my career here. I will not quit my wonderful job. In his mind, that puts us right back to Square 1! I think I love him. Please help!

— Cornering Me Won’t Work? St. Boniface

Dear Cornering: If things go really well this holiday, you should both start looking for work in each other’s city, so you can possibly be together. Neither of you wants to go haring off to a new city, with no job waiting. You’ve proved you’re both career types and obviously, the feelings are deep enough they continued on even though you broke up after he left.

At least start looking for a job similar or better than the one you have now, but in his city. Ask him to do the same in Winnipeg, if he can. That is the best hope for your relationship to become permanent.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found out from my sister that my exciting new girlfriend spent way more on her Christmas gift for me than I did for hers. Should I beef it up with a second gift? It’s not like I don’t have the money to buy her a better present. I will look cheap with the one I have now, even though my new babe is too sweet to ever say that. I just wasn’t thinking, and I hate shopping.

— Not a Cheapskate, River Heights

Dear Not a Cheapskate: You don’t have to match what you think your new sweetie spent, but you don’t want your gift to say you didn’t care enough. Honour your new lady and the blossoming relationship!

Since you have the funds, do some last-minute shopping with your sister by your side, and make your gift something you’re proud of, in this first and important Yuletide exchange.

As for hating shopping, that doesn’t work as an excuse. Lots of guys don’t enjoy it particularly, so they figure out what they want, narrow down the shops they need to visit, check ahead to see if they have the stock and go for the goods. You can do it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We’re having a small family Christmas again this year, and the single auntie who lives next door to my folks will be there, and no doubt getting drunk as usual. The last time I was home she sat beside me at dinner and put her hand on my thigh. I lifted it off and plunked it back hard on her lap.

Later in the evening, we were all singing by the piano and she put her arm around my waist, which I removed. I told my parents about it and they were not happy either!

This year I found out she’s coming again. I’m nervous because I don’t want her touching me. I find it disgusting. I’m going to sit across the table to get away from her, but if she makes another weird move, I need to do something that makes the message stick. What do you suggest?

— Fed Up with Drunk Auntie, rural Manitoba

Dear Fed Up: When you get to the party, don’t wait for another incident to happen. Tell her, as soon as she arrives, “Watch your drinking, and keep your hands to yourself, or I will get you thrown out of this party.” If she squawks, and pretends she doesn’t know what you’re talking about, say in a strong, cold voice: “My parents are aware of your behaviour and are watching you, too.” You might also warn your cousins to keep their distance from her.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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