Best not to obsess over ex and old pal

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 08/03/2022 (1622 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into an ex-girlfriend I broke up with years ago. We started chatting on the street and ended up in my car talking about old times. Things were going great, until she slowly took off her gloves. She was wearing a great big diamond.

I said, “You getting married? Who’s the lucky guy?” I wish I’d never asked. It turns out to be my best buddy from when we were all back in college. He and I kind of drifted apart as friends after school, and I haven’t seen him for ages.

A light bulb went on. and I said: “When did you two get together?” and she replied, “None of your business.”

That’s a guilty statement if I’ve ever heard one! She got out of the car in a hurry.

I’m quite happy in my life now with a great girlfriend, but it’s driving me crazy to know if she was cheating with my old buddy.

— Just Need To Know, Charleswood

Dear Need to Know: You think you’d like to hear the truth, but you don’t need to know it this far down the road. Your ex-girlfriend is not confessing, and you don’t own her.

So, let this be one of the things in life you wonder about sometimes when you have absolutely nothing better to do. And then think about this: There’s a good chance she was not cheating way back when, but saw a chance to stick it to you now, and flashed that big diamond ring. It worked — if you’re still thinking about it, she wins!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in regard to “Upset Mom,” who cried while with her husband on holiday from the kids when he said he wished they were “still free like this, with no children around.” How can this wife complain that her husband doesn’t love the children as much as she does? (I said parents sometimes feel giddy with holiday freedom from the kids and express this sentiment, but end up really missing the little ones.—Miss L. )

“Upset Mom” obviously views herself as the superior parent, due to the fact she gave birth to them? Biology determines who gives birth — not who loves the kids more. She wants him to confirm she’s a better parent, and no compromise will be welcomed.

— R.Z., Manitoba

Dear R.Z.: Interestingly, good fathers feel protective of both their mates and their children, as in they’d lay their lives down to save their families from harm. Good mothers feel just as passionate about nurturing their children.

In modern times, fathers and mothers both protect and nurture their offspring. It’s understandable they get so tired and they really need breaks from their heavy responsibilities.

A few careless words about the kids not being on holiday with them should be excused, if they are just letting off steam. All the other parent needs to say is, “You’re just kidding, aren’t you?” and they’ll get reassurance.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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