Seek out someone more in tune with your type

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This article was published 10/07/2022 (1510 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m heartsick because my last sweet woman left me for a better guy. I know I’m at fault, because my eyes wander when I’ve been drinking. I’m an old musician and have lost a fair few women that way. I’m not a performer anymore. At least, l’m not onstage — although I still take my guitar with me to festivals and parties.

I’ve been behaving myself lately, but how do you change a bad reputation? I’m looking for one true love now — finally — but my friends just laugh at me. Disbelievers!

— Lonely Guitar Player, Manitoba

Dear Lonely Player: Sometimes an old “mover” hasn’t so much changed, as he’s run out of steam. Maybe the best option for you isn’t to try change your reputation (it takes too much time), but to find someone who’s OK with your rep, and has had her share of relationships with musicians. You need someone who understands your kind, and still loves the breed.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got a nasty call from a woman who stole a girlfriend from me years ago. The young woman she stole, and I, were newbie lesbians when she met us at a party. She took her away from me, and they settled in another city.

I suffered the loss and moved on. That was nine years ago!

This crazy upset woman called me a couple weeks ago to say they’d just split up, and it was somehow my fault because her younger partner never stopped talking about me. She wanted to know if she was at my place. I laughed out loud.

I’m innocent! I never saw that woman again in nine years. I didn’t even try to phone her.

Why is this woman hounding me? She says our mutual ex used to have dreams about me — her first love — and would call out my name! Great. I’m so honoured.

How should I handle these annoying calls?

— Not Guilty, River Heights

Dear Not Guilty: The jilted lover is desperate to blame somebody and not have to admit causing any problems in the relationship herself. The young woman she stole from you has gone off down the road. She doesn’t know where, and she’s desperate. She sounds like she may also be inebriated.

If this accuser continues to harass you, and you want to make her go away for good, tell her if she ever catches up to the woman who’s still dreaming about you, to pass on your phone number!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Your response to “Less Important Daughter,” was very good. (The daughter wrote to say how much her bereaved mother still mourns her sibling, who died long ago. —Miss L.) Thank you for letting her know about the Compassionate Friends support group.

My heart truly does go out to her. From my own experience as a bereaved mom, it is very difficult to balance grief when a child dies, and still recognize the needs, desires and love the surviving children crave and deserve.

Surviving children grieve as well, but they also need their parents. I’m fairly certain other bereaved parents experience this same struggle.

We hope the writer reaches out to our support group, as we can help her and her mother.

— The Compassionate Friends, Winnipeg

Dear Compassionate: There are painful situations only a fellow sufferer can understand fully. Thank goodness your group exists, to help bereaved families struggling to cope with the loss of a child. Visit tcfwinnipeg.org for information.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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