Reaching out is first step to mend broken heart

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/07/2022 (1543 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Is it worth it to give love another shot? I’ve been seeing a guy for six months and he said last weekend, “I just can’t break through your wall.” This man is a really nice guy, but he’s right. I have my foot on the brakes all the time. Does this mean he’s not exactly the right guy for me, or am I forever broken?

I sense I could love this sweet man, but the last two times I gave my heart, I got it stomped on! I’m not over that pain and not sure if I ever will be. I’ve lost considerable confidence in my own judgement. Something haunts me lately: I keep hearing that Cher lyric: Do you believe in life after love?

— Frozen Heart, North Kildonan

Dear Frozen: Some people heal on their own after a heartbreak, given some time, but you’re recognizing this isn’t happening for you. Some become emotionally stuck, though the heart is not broken for good. They can benefit from good professional help. A psychologist or relationship counsellor would be able to coach you, and it may not take a long time.

It’s amazing how fast some people recover with new insight into what went wrong in past relationships, and how to avoid those pitfalls in a new one. Good luck to you in your quest for a healthy, happy love. You are reaching out and trying, so you’re already thawing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just got some bad news. I’m going to the beach to a cabin with my wife and little kids. Unfortunately, my well-known old love is going to be staying at the same lake, with her parents.

To this day, my wife doesn’t believe I totally got over “the Star,” as she calls her. That’s crazy! I forgot about her long ago.

Unfortunately, she’s easy for my wife to recognize, and she’ll be staying at her parents’ big cabin on the water.

Should I keep quiet about this and try to steer my wife clear, and pray we don’t run into her? Unfortunately, there’s only one main store everybody goes to for groceries and lake supplies.

— Over Her, southern Manitoba

Dear Over Her: Not telling your wife is a dangerous option. If she runs into your ex-love at the lake, and then asks you point-blank if you knew she’d be there, your face will probably give you away. It’ll look like you cared enough to hide it.

So, tell your partner with a casual comment that you’ve heard your ex will be there for a bit, visiting her parents.

If you do run into your ex, don’t accept any innocent invitations like, “How about dropping by to say hi to my parents?” Say no, and mention your wife and kids are keeping you super-busy these days. She’ll get the message.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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