Estate-plan preview opens a real can of worms

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This article was published 09/10/2022 (1405 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently told my sons, who are in their early 20s, how my will is planned out. Now they are fighting. They’re upset about everything — who gets what and how much, who gets the family house and so on. It is unreal how immature they are behaving and every time they visit, it ends in a big fight.

I’m sick of it and I told them if they kept this up they would get nothing and everything will go to charity. That kept them quiet for a week, but now they are back to fighting. I have read this is common, but I don’t know who to turn to. I don’t want to involve a lawyer as that will cost money.

— Father of Three, St. Vital

Dear Father of Three: There’s an excellent reason why wills get read out after a person dies. Instead, you wanted to play ‘god’ and witness your power over your three sons to see their reactions before you were gone.

Now you really do need a lawyer who specializes in wills, because you stand to really strain relations with one or more of your grown children over this.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m worried my wife is turning into a hypochondriac. She’s in a constant state of paranoia about her health and is always going to the doctor, asking for more medication, and making a huge deal out of everything.

I think there’s actually very little wrong with her, but I cannot get through to her. This all started after she retired three years ago. I think she has little else to focus on. What can I do? It’s become very difficult to listen to her.

— Sneering Husband, Fort Richmond

Dear Sneering Husband: Sneering at her hypochondria is not going to stop it. Putting some energy into helping her find some kind of interesting pastime or volunteer work she’d be passionate about could be the ticket to get her out of this depressive funk. Maybe even a return to some kind of work she enjoys would be a good move. She may find something that lights her right up, and your problems will ease.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I feel pretty inferior these days. I lost my job recently, and had to take the first one available. My wife is a professional, and she earns a lot of money. I used to make a lot as well, in sales. It’s hard to find jobs in my field, especially at my age.

My wife says it doesn’t make a difference to her, and she loves me, but I can’t help but feel like a loser. What can I do to get out of this funk? My wife used to feel proud of me — not sorry for me!

— Heart and Head Hurting, Winnipeg

Dear Hurting: The economy is just starting to heat back up after the lows of the pandemic, but if obvious jobs for your background are still not available, you may need to segue into sales in another area, bringing your experience. Alternatively, this could also be the right time to look at other employment areas that interest you. You might really enjoy a different second career.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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