Don’t hang around to haunt partner’s spooky soirée

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This article was published 20/10/2022 (1410 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend already has crazy Halloween decorations hung up all over the house, inside and out! As I write, she’s outside on a ladder, waiting for me to help her put up more orange lights.

I didn’t want to co-host a mixed party of both our friend groups, so she’s having her “ghoul-friends” over for a dance party to spooky music on our front lawn. They’ll be passing out candy to the kids. What do you suggest I do with myself that night?

— Party-Pooper Boyfriend, Wolseley

Dear Party Pooper: Get happily lost for the evening! Let your partner’s ghoul-friends have unrestrained fun without your cranky face looking at them. Make a plan right now to go out with friends for drinks on Oct 31.

It’s one thing not to enjoy certain celebrations, and quite another to spoil them for people you love. So make a night out to play pool or something else with buddies.

Refrain from making negative comments about your girlfriend’s party when you get home. There will be other celebrations you have more time for. Let your partner remember what a classy guy you were about her important Halloween night, and you can probably count on her to honour your own personal party traditions.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I gulped down a dry biscuit recently, and starting hacking and choking on it. My husband started laughing and saying, “You’re such a stupid goof!” Instead of thumping me on the back or helping me, he stood there laughing at my distress and the tears that were rolling down my cheeks. I was even pointing at my throat, signalling I seriously needed help!

As I was turning purple, I stuck my finger down my throat and managed to drag part of the biscuit out. I could see he was just disgusted and couldn’t have cared less. Our marriage choked and died in that instant.

We’ve been married three long years now, and this overgrown boy does not appear to love me. Sure, he’ll come up with the L-word after being prodded a few times, but I know he’s not my best friend, and not even my lover, lately. I can feel his disgust with me, and desire for someone else is creeping in.

He did not marry his first choice! That came out in an ugly fight recently. The woman of his dreams is suddenly single again. I think he’d be relieved if I left him. I know his religious parents would never let him leave me. What do you suggest?

— Crying Bitter Tears, East Kildonan

Dear Bitter Tears: You’re not married to the religious parents, just to the son. You have no kids with him, and you could set yourself free from that whole family for good quite easily. Your unwilling husband may actually be relieved, especially now his old sweetheart is back on the market.

Leaving your partner after a short marriage does not usually require a big fight in court. So, get your own divorce lawyer right away — not one you share with your husband — and get the best advice you can on how to move on.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m lonely because my husband is away travelling all the time. He has a very important job. I feel guilty for making him sad when he goes to the airport.

When I married him, I was in my late 20s. I didn’t expect him to get this big promotion so quickly. The other day he hinted he wouldn’t want to bring a baby into this situation — with all the work on me, and him never being home. A baby was always part of our plan! So, what is left for me?

— Wife of Rising Business Star, Sage Creek

Dear Wife: As hard as it is, you two have to try to forecast what’s going to happen. For instance, what further promotions lie ahead, where might you end up living and how can you have the kids you want? Try to talk to couples your husband knows in his line of work, and find out how they’re juggling everything to include what they want personally.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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