Risqué resolutions seem to bode well for new year

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This article was published 30/12/2022 (1319 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve decided to make a New Year’s resolution to have more fun in 2023, starting with eating more indulgent desserts, and researching jokes to be able to tell more of them! l’m a 42-year-old guy with a 38-year-old wife, and I have a tendency to be too serious. We also have two young school-age kids.

I wanted to shock my wife a little, so I also included on my resolution list, “wear sexier underwear” (no more tighty-whities) and also “initiate adventurous sex.” I showed my wife my little list, and she gave me a look and a wink, like I haven’t seen for a long while. Then she came home from the hardware store later that day with a lock for our bedroom door, and had me put it on for us. What do you think? Wish us luck!

— More Fun in 2023, Winnipeg

Dear More Fun: Your new plan definitely inspired your wife! Good luck in the new year with your sweet tooth, humour and romantic adventures. Nothing like a man with a fun plan — and a willing partner to realize it!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My live-in girlfriend and I can’t afford to go out on Dec. 31, and we’re both bummed out. We’re the types who love New Year’s Eve blowouts with dancing and midnight fireworks.

We thought maybe this year — finally! — we could do it again. Everybody desperately needs a better year in 2023, wouldn’t you say?

Sadly, there won’t even be a cosy dinner and wine in a nice restaurant for us again this year! I’m just getting over COVID, and my wife may be getting it. She’s run down from being overworked in the health-care system — my poor baby, I love her so much! Any suggestions to save the night for us?

— Desperate for a Real New Year’s Eve, River Heights

Dear Desperate: You can still do dinner and fireworks together and have fun. Here’s the plan: Order from one of your favourite restaurants, and opt for a late-afternoon pickup, as dinnertime deliveries can get backed up on New Year’s Eve.

Eat at home with some fun, upbeat music. Then, about 7:30 p.m., bundle up and drive down to check out the New Year’s Eve fireworks at The Forks, for their 8 p.m. start time. Hot tip: Scout out a spot earlier in the day where you can park and watch from your warm vehicle, in case it’s too cold outside.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a few New Year’s resolutions I’d like my wife to make. First, to lose weight; second, to get a decent job; and third, to return to being the person I thought I married! That’s all I ask. I bargained on a lifetime with a great woman, who then changed, and ended up being another person. It’s a raw deal.

She says she’ll start losing weight when I stop drinking. Ha! I was a happy drinker when I met her, and so was she. She doesn’t drink anymore and she has a “holier-than-thou” attitude. I’m no longer happy when I drink with her frowning at me. Nothing is ever rosy anymore around here!

— Need Big Changes in 2023, West Fort Garry

Dear Changes: First, find out why your wife has changed, even if it hurts to hear it. Is it possible she quit drinking in the hopes you’d cut back or quit? Did she possibly start eating more sweets as a substitute for drinking with you? When things go sour with a partner, people often look for ways to make things sweeter.

It seems there isn’t much spontaneous happiness or warm intimacy between you two anymore. It’s time you both started addressing the underlying problems, which have encouraged the over-drinking and overeating.

Make plans to take your ailing relationship to an experienced counsellor in the new year, and take a serious look at your marriage. Your counsellor will referee future discussions and help you two express your feelings respectfully and work to find helpful solutions for your issues.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for “Inexperienced Husband” who thought it’d be great to give his wife a washer and dryer set as her Christmas gift. (She was upset, and would have preferred a more personal gift, not something to help her do the housework. —Miss L.) May I offer a suggestion?

My husband and I have a “gift for the house” policy. We discuss what big purchase we think we’ll need for the house in the coming year, and then we both contribute toward it. The fund may not be completed by Christmas, but it’s our Christmas tradition. We then exchange smaller presents for each other.

— Works for Us, Manitoba

Dear Works for Us: That’s a great balance of practical and romantic. You share love, but also the real costs of a home life which sometimes requires expensive items. But you still give smaller, romantic gifts to one another on Christmas Day. Well thought out!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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