Plan to stay busy with overseas sweetheart

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I got a surprise phone call the other night from a number I thought I recognized and took a chance on answering it.

It was an old English girlfriend who still lives in London, where I went to university. I’ve been lonely this summer, so I thought, “What harm could there be in a friendly chat?”

I poured myself a big glass of wine as we started conversing. She was all flirty and charming — and hinting she wanted an invitation to come to Canada and visit me.

That sounded kind of exciting, and as I had another drink (and another) as we kept on talking, things got into full swing! Now she’s coming to Winnipeg for three weeks in the very near future. That can be a long time, if things go badly. Help me!

— Very Anxious, West End

Dear Anxious: Winnipeg’s an amazing city and Manitoba is truly a summer and autumn wonderland. So if you strike a positive attitude and plan lots of fun and romantic things to do while your English paramour is here, she’ll have a great holiday — and who knows what else could happen?

If you grow close again, you can consider visiting her in London this fall. However, if you rub each other the wrong way on this visit, you might be glad you have an ocean between you!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Several months ago, my wife and I separated. We just couldn’t stop arguing and the bitterness at home became unbearable.

We don’t have kids, so we decided we needed a break from each other to really consider if we have it in us to work things out and be happy together once again.

She really wanted some alone time and really kept to herself.

Then a couple weeks ago, we finally saw one another again — after each of us individually conferred with relationship counsellors and decided we need to work out a plan to make our marriage work.

She’s also gone through something of a physical transformation — she lost the 60 pounds she gained while we were married.

My mate claims the weight gain was all my fault, as I’m a baker by trade. That’s ridiculous — I’m not overweight at all. I don’t eat a lot of my baking, but I taste it to make sure it comes out perfectly for customers.

I did experiment on new baked items at home and once my wife got a whiff of something new, she always gobbled it up. I didn’t realize this was a big issue for her. Is there any hope for us at this point?

— Sad Baker, southern Manitoba

Dear Sad Baker: Bravo for each of you putting in the work to examine your relationship and find ways to get back on track together.

However, don’t let this stumbling block of angst over weight gain and your abundant home baking. Your wife resenting your baking would likely become another flashpoint, so how about pledging to do less of your test baking at home.

When baking at home, you could also consider sticking to healthier creations that would be good for you both in the long run.

You could also go for more walks together, and that’s good for both body and mind. Good luck with your experiment.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I came home from my low-paying summer job and my apartment roomie announced she was moving her stuff out to live with her boyfriend!

She didn’t offer me any rent money to ease the blow of finding someone else, but her guy looked sheepish and ended up giving me $100. It isn’t near her half of the rent for the month of August.

How can I still get the rest of the money owed, even if she isn’t living here? She argues she shouldn’t have to pay another cent for the place. I told her I don’t have enough money to pay the full rent on my own, and she did sign the lease agreement with me.

She just says, “Why should I pay when I don’t sleep under that roof anymore?” She’s so immature!

I might have to move back home with my mom, who has her own boyfriend staying there, since I left. Please advise.

— Feeling Dizzy, Osborne Village

Dear Dizzy: Explain your situation to your landlord and offer as much due money as you can right away. If your bailing roommate is a signee on the legal lease, then she would likely owe the property owner, not you.

You could also ask if the rental company has a smaller, more-affordable suite available for you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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