Sleeping with other people’s wives could be bad for your face

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This article was published 19/10/2015 (3997 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to the bar prepared to mind my own business and have a few drinks on a Friday night. In came a guy I didn’t recognize who stood beside me at the bar. He bought a drink, knocked it back and made small talk. After his second drink, he grabbed me by the front of my jacket and said, “If you ever come near my wife again, I’ll knock all those big white teeth down your throat!” Then he saw security coming and ran out the door.

First, I don’t know who the guy is, and second, I see a lot of ladies for fun and sex and one of them could be his wife for all I know. He never gave his wife’s first or last name. He must think she would be my only woman and I would know all their names. Ha! The thing is, I’m a good-looking divorced guy, am currently single and I can go to bed with anybody I want.

So here’s the problem: that’s my favourite bar to meet women, and now this guy has his eye on me. I spent a lot of money on my “big white teeth” and I really don’t want to get beaten up. I’m a lover, not a fighter. If I took his wife home one night after the bar, that was her decision. I don’t force anybody to come with me. What should I do at this point? Why should I have to change bars when I know everybody there?

— Lover Not a Fighter, West End

Dear Lover: It’s time to stop having sex with other people’s wives, especially those you don’t even know well enough to be aware they have a jealous husband. Now this guy has delivered his nasty message, he probably won’t come back. You’re probably safe inside the bar, but not outside in the parking lot.

Be aware, there’s also a spy in that bar watching you. In this case, the husband knew enough to come to this bar to find you. When he got in the door, he made a beeline for you, so he had a full description of who to look for from someone. He must have a male or female buddy who’s a regular there, or a staffer, and who watched the whole thing unfolding between you and his wife; or the wife may have diverted a beating by putting the blame on you for “harassing” her at the bar. Either way, the people at this bar are not your friends. Since you don’t know the spy you’re dealing with, get out of there before you start wearing your nose on a different part of your face.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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