Follow-up action will show if romance is in the cards

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This article was published 02/02/2017 (3515 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Valentine’s Day is coming up and my sexy Valentine has to remain a secret. I am married, but secretly in love with someone of the opposite sex. I am in a same-sex long-term relationship and I never thought in a million years I would fall for a man when I have never felt safe with men, or even been attracted to one. But there is this man I work with on certain projects every year, and I have slowly fallen in love with him.

Last year, I sent him an anonymous card and he only thanked me by saying, “That was a lovely card,” and gave me a slow wink. Nothing more was said, as he is married. They aren’t very close anymore, though. We have traded a lot of intimate information about our lives over the years. I don’t know whether to give him another card this year or not. Is that silly, or the best we can do given the circumstances? — Love That Man, Winnipeg

Dear Love That Man: You might want to check out that old movie Same Time Next Year where two people get together only once a year, for many years. Compared to that, a card is relatively harmless and might be just be enough to recognize the attraction, but not blow your current worlds apart.

Do you want it to go further? If you do, maybe he doesn’t. He did recognize what you did last year, but made no moves. I would guess this may remain just a work-related flirtation for him. Write back, and let me know how he responds this year.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a crazy bird and I get a big kick out of how fast she flies from perch to perch. I am a lazybones and she teases me about it. She gets so much done in a day I hardly have to do anything.

But, now she wants to go backpacking in Europe, and that’s the last kind of holiday I want to do — there is too much moving around, carrying heavy packs and not sleeping in the same bed more than a night or two. I think she is nuts and told I wouldn’t go. She came home today and said she found some other friends to go with and I could stay home and water the plants. “That should be about your speed!” she said.

I’m afraid some guy is going to water her plant in Europe, if you get my meaning, when I’m not there and she’s feeling resentful. I told her I didn’t want her to go, and she said, “There are no more options, buddy.”

“Buddy” means I’m in trouble. “I’m not staying home because you’re too lazy to go,” she muttered. She’s going. Now what do I do? — Blew It Big Time, Southdale

Dear Blew It Big Time: Don’t stay at home. You could book a trip with a friend or two at the same time — Vegas comes to mind. Rather than sitting at home on your thumb, you might want to enjoy yourself with some guys who like to sit around and play cards, watch car races or go to big shows. Sitting at home will make you stew. Going on your own trip will make her stew. When you’ve got a mutual beef, you might as well have two people stewing and nobody thinking they have the upper hand.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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