Have counselling session with trusted teacher

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This article was published 03/02/2017 (3224 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my high school teacher and she likes me. I am also a girl. I’d like to be just like her one day: a woman with a wife. I wonder if it would be OK to tell her I am lesbian too and ask her advice on a few things.

— Tempted To Ask, Winnipeg

Dear Tempted To Ask: It’s not all right if you have a crush on your teacher. If you just admire her as a person and a teacher, you might want to have a counselling-style chat with her, especially if there’s no one in the counselling department who’s not straight, or at least gay-friendly. But, be careful. Crushes are easy to develop when you bare your heart and speak of intimate things, and you don’t want to feel that way. School is hard enough.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A guy bumped me hard from behind at the convenience store. I muttered “you clumsy oaf” before I actually saw him. I turned around, and it was Prince Charming. I tried to recover myself and apologize and speak to him, but he was cool and having none of it.

I waited outside and approached him at his car outside and tried to flirt with him. He said “no harm done,” and then he told me to give it a rest. “If I were an ugly-looking guy, you would have let the ‘oaf’ comment stand. You may be pretty on the outside, but…”

I was more than annoyed and called him a few well-chosen words when he was slowly pulling out and he said, “See what I mean? You have an ugly mouth.”

If he hadn’t said that insult to me by his car, I would have been perfectly nice! What’s his problem?

— Provoked to Insult Him, West Winnipeg

Dear Provoked to Insult Him: Technically, you were “provoked” to two insults: his accidental bumping of you in the store and his tough reply to you after you followed him to the car to try to hustle him once you saw how good-looking he was. But you shouldn’t have reacted that way either time. Since you don’t understand this stuff, consider seeing a psychologist for a makeover on the inside — a little touch up.

Start with this incident and make a little list of other times you have had spats with people, including accidents, indulging in road rage, casual insults, gossiping and insulting remarks to strangers. It’s the best investment you can make in your personal life and for getting married and bringing up children who will copy the actions of their mom.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went out on a dinner date with a guy from my workplace. He knew I liked him and he asked me out. I thought that’s all it would be, but we ended up drinking lots of wine at dinner and kissing up against my house door. I didn’t invite him in but I do need to see him again more than I need my next breath! Help!

— Dying to Kiss That Man, Winnipeg

Dear Dying to Kiss That Man: That’s the last thing you want this guy to know, especially after just one date. Even if it kills you, let him make the next call and you can respond enthusiastically when he does. If he doesn’t call, leave it alone. There’s only one thing worse than a crush in the workplace you have to hide, and that’s living with a one-sided crush where you do all the chasing and he or she feels crowded by it.

Try to think of this date as a moment in life where you had a great time, but it wasn’t meant to be, kind of like when you’re on a holiday and meet an absolute sweetheart. If he calls, bonus!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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