Teen dating sister’s ex who used her for sex

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This article was published 12/03/2017 (3165 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My sister is seeing my ex-boyfriend, who used to be my best friend before we finally got together and experimented with sex. He quickly dumped me because he said he couldn’t help seeing me as more of a sister than a girlfriend. Sadly, I loved him in all ways.

So why is he romancing my little sister? I don’t get it? Doesn’t she seem like family to him, too?

She won’t talk to me about him because I have nothing good to say about him after he used me and discarded me. He’s three years old than her and she thinks he’s hot because he’s older and experienced, yet her older sister is the one who taught him everything he knows.

He and I are in Grade 12, and she’s in Grade 10. It’s horrible. I’m so jealous. I grew to love him romantically and after he had his sexual experiment with me, he stopped seeing me. In a way I kind of get that, but then why is hitting on my sister, who is the junior version of me? — Sister Versus Sister, Winnipeg

Dear Sister Versus Sister: She has some of the same attributes he liked in you, but he was never buddy-buddy with her. She doesn’t feel like family to him.

Frankly, he’s shockingly insensitive to your feelings and seems to be just out to experiment until he gets exactly what he wants, and too bad for your relationship with your sister.

Tell your sister what she’s doing with him is hurting you badly and give that a day to sink in. Also speak to your mom about it. If you have been hiding your feelings out of pride, stop, and let it all out.

The last thing your mother wants is for her daughters to end up enemies over this insensitive guy. Your mom may like the guy from his years of friendship with you, but you have to know she loves you and your sister way more. This guy is now messing with her girls’ relationship. Not a smart thing to do!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: About six months ago, a beautiful, intelligent, independent women answered my ad for a roommate and moved in. I found her attractive but convinced myself that I would leave her alone and pursue other relationships because I didn’t want to ruin a possibly good roommate relationship.

Now, we’ve grown a lot closer, so much so I have little interest in pursuing other relationships.

I just want to spend time with her; I think about her all the time. I’m trying not to show outwardly that I have strong feelings for her because I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable at home.

I want to tell her how I feel in a way that doesn’t overwhelm her and respects her privacy and space.

Any suggestions? — Roomie Lover, Winnipeg

Dear Roomie Lover: Look into my crystal ball. You’re at a crossroads and can walk one of two paths: Path No. 1: You confess what’s going on — hopefully she is developing feelings too, but maybe she’s not. Then you work it out together. Path No. 2: You keep quiet about it and continue on as you are. She’ll think you’re not interested, or she may simply not be interested.

Soon, some other guy will start coming to the apartment to pick her up, or even stay the night. Horrors!

Something’s gotta give, and you are going to have to initiate it. If she’s not digging this budding romance too, you’ll need to part fairly quickly as there’s only awkwardness ahead.

Start by saying something such as, “I’m developing a crush on you and it’s not right to keep it a secret. Do you have feelings for me too, or is this platonic for you?”

If she’s not interested, don’t point out it’s your lease, but let her know clearly it’s getting uncomfortable. Let her suggest she find a new place, and then you look for a male roommate.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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