Lady callers getting him hot and bothered

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This article was published 04/04/2017 (3415 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a man living in an old-folks home. People can call it what they want, but that’s what it is.  And, it’s sure better than living in my old house, which I couldn’t keep up anymore. I was eating frozen meals that were not nearly as good as the food served here.

But then there’s the woman problem. It doesn’t hurt that there’s more women here than men and the widows are very kind to me — well, more than kind, if you get my drift.

They don’t exactly fight over me, but I get visits in the evenings, and sometimes they conflict when a second woman comes knocking at the door.

It’s hard to tell a woman who lives here that she can’t come over on, say, a Wednesday night, because that night belongs to someone else! So you have to make up weekly family visits or say you’re going out when you’re really staying home.

Now the whole thing has become complicated because one woman thinks she’s falling in love with me. I think she just wants to take over the schedule, but I’ve gotten fond of variety.

I never had any other women during my marriage, even though my wife was not the most enthusiastic bedroom companion. I need some help sorting this out. — Getting Pressure, Winnipeg

Dear Getting Pressure: Your best bet is to discourage the new lady who wants to take over your already full schedule.

Say something such as: “I was married for a long time, and at this point I don’t want any woman exclusively. I’m sorry to disappoint you but you should look for another man if you want a steady relationship. You are lovely and should have no trouble finding a great guy.”

Yes, it’s a line, but you need a line at this point!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m really freaking out. My common-law husband’s mother is coming from Europe to check me out. We are crazy in love and moved in together recently. His mother didn’t find out he had chosen me as his “love forever” (charming phrase) until a month ago.

My big family is all here and his big family is in France. He assures me they are very nice people and his mother is a very nice lady. His mother has phoned him nearly every night, asking about me.

Last night she freaked us both out, by announcing she had bought a plane ticket and she’s coming for two weeks. That’s two long weeks in my estimation.

I have talked to her on the phone, and she’s an excitable lady. She speaks broken English at top speed and I speak fractured French at a low speed.

How do we get through 14 days with her here? What if she doesn’t like me? I can’t hide out at work all day and all night.

Also, when she gets here, she’s going to see me having morning sickness and find out I’m pregnant, but I haven’t told my family yet.

Our private life as a new couple is about to go public, and I’m not feeling up to it. — Help! Here She Comes, St. Boniface

Dear Help Here She Comes: Look on the positive side. Who knows, you may love your partner’s mom if she’s anything like him.

And your man’s mother may interpret this morning sickness to mean, “Oui! I’m going to be a grandmother!” and be quite happy about it.

And she might want to be helpful around the house while you’re at work, so let her, and don’t take it as criticism.

Meanwhile, you need to reveal the pregnancy to your own family and ask your mom and siblings to help entertain your visitor.

Do you and your husband have a group of French friends? Sit down and map out a little plan and get the lady out seeing the sites, shopping, seeing some music and meeting other people.

Maybe your family and your man might help you plan a dinner party at a bistro to have fun and welcome this visitor.

There’s no point in looking at this visit negatively, and making yourself feel sicker.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com  or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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