He wasn’t a gigolo — you were robbed

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This article was published 12/05/2017 (3437 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in my 40s and just started dating after a separation that is leading to divorce — my idea. I am quite well-to-do, with a great job and no kids. I have gone on a lot of dates with men I’ve met online in previous months. They have been pleasant, but nobody clicked. Then this guy met me who was in his early 30s and said he liked older women. The guy was muscled, funny and sexy, and long story short, I invited him back to my place for “champagne.”

We had a wonderful time in the bedroom, but when I was in the shower later, he took $200 out of my purse and left. Now I feel like I hired a prostitute and didn’t even know it. Did I miss something? Some code words? What happened?

— Feeling Like a Fool, Winnipeg

Dear Feeling Like a Fool: Hired a prostitute? What would make you say that? If you had really hired a gigolo, you would have set it up verbally beforehand and handed him his money after the event was over; instead, you took a hot-looking guy you met online home from a date, had sex with him and he stole $200 out of your purse while you were incapacitated. You should check your jewelry boxes and key collection, too. Be sure to change your locks. One-night stands are a very bad idea with a stranger, no matter how good-looking and charming he may seem. By the way, men get ripped off by ladies from the bar just as often.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is sleeping in our third bedroom for the seventh week, and the four kids are crammed together in one bedroom and in the basement. I can’t stand it anymore, and my husband is livid. She keeps saying “You don’t mind me staying here, do you? It’s boring at home.” I very much do mind; in fact, I can’t stand it!

I want her to go back to B.C. where she lives. Her next-door neighbour is keeping up her house and has the cats and must be furious by now.

Mom is an unapologetic user. She has lots of friends at home, but she just loves being near the grandchildren.

How do I kick her out of here without devastating her and losing her love?

— Boiling Inside, Wildwood Park

Dear Boiling Inside: Tell your mom that your husband needs privacy back because having her in the guest room is inhibiting your sex life. That should embarrass her enough to get the ball rolling. Then say clearly you also feel it’s time for the visit to be over, too, and get her suitcases out. Have an airplane ticket ready, unless she has an open one she can book right away. Tell her she’s going home.

Don’t feel guilty. She knows she’s overstayed her welcome and she also thinks you’re too weak to say anything. Take back your power! If she says, “I never thought my own daughter would kick me out,” then say with humour in your voice: “And I never thought my own mother would come for a short visit and stay for two months. What would you do if someone pulled that one at your house?”

If she’s angry or tearful on the way to the plane, put up with it and maintain a no-nonsense stance. Tell her a week or two is all anyone is invited to spend at your house and you thought she would know that.  Tell her you still love her just as much, but you need your privacy back, the kids need their room back and her time is up. Add that she’ll need to join some clubs and get her social life going and she can Skype with the kids if she wants to see them regularly.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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