Man finds affection online he can’t get at home

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This article was published 24/05/2017 (3401 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a bad habit of getting up in the middle of the night to go on Facebook and write to this lovely woman halfway around the world. My wife is snoring away and has no idea. She doesn’t want me as a lover any more. We are more like good friends. I love her, but I don’t feel guilty enough not to sneak down to the rec room in the basement and get on the computer. I feel romantic feelings toward this woman I will never probably meet because she lives across an ocean, has her own family and, like me, a decent spouse. But my heart is lonely and so is hers. Her husband has a succession of other women on the side, and it is expected in her country and not even well-hidden from her, although he doesn’t flaunt his women in public. I only have one life to live and I’m not getting any younger. — Lonely Married Man, 51, Winnipeg

Dear Lonely Married Man: Sometimes marriages slip down the road toward boredom and get stuck there. My best advice to you is to start going to relationship counselling on your own and talk things out with someone who isn’t going to be offended by anything you say.

When the time is right, invite your wife to join you, explaining that you have been concerned about your marriage and want to make it better. She may be furious at first, and if she is, just keep on going and treating her better. If she sees this treatment comes because of the counselling, she will not feel she’s been ganged up on and will be curious to at least meet your counsellor. If your marriage becomes rejuvenated, you will probably stop feeling the need to connect with this lady online.

Dear Readers: On Mother’s Day, I woke up and felt I really needed to write the tribute below for the many modern men who “mother.” I wrote it directly online and it received surprising responses from what one fellow called the “mommy-daddies” of the world. I wanted to share it here with you as well, as I would like to hear your responses and experiences.

Happy Mother’s Day to the modern men who provide what used to be described as “motherly” nurturing to their children, but which has become the way both parents, in many couples, look after their kids. These wonderful men provide daily loving service, verbal love and emotional support, active child care and sympathetic listening. They wipe away tears, make healthy meals, teach about life, go to school to deal with problems, coach teams of girls playing sports such as soccer and hockey, take kids to the store to buy food, clothing and other personal stuff, drive or walk kids to school, and cheer at their games and recitals.

Here’s to the Mr. Moms who stay home to take on the child-rearing so their wives can pursue a career and support everybody.

Hats off to the 24/7 Mr. Moms who provide all the mothering and fathering where there is no longer a mom in the home because she has died, is physically or mentally ill, has an addiction or has left the home because she couldn’t handle it.

We admire you and are so grateful to you. With love from all of us, as individuals and as a society. — Sincerely, Miss Lonelyhearts

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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