Wife can’t handle hot husband getting attention

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/06/2017 (3390 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband is a great guy and very hot. We recently moved to a small city in Manitoba from a very small town, and women are taking notice of him here. Last night we were at an event and I overheard a woman boldly asking him if he was married. He said, just loud enough for me to hear, “Yes, that’s my wife right there. Want me to introduce you?” She kind of swam off, like the shark she is.

My husband has never worn a wedding ring before, but I have decided I want him to start wearing one now. I asked him last night if he would wear a gold band on his left hand to keep women like her from flirting him. He said that since he would never cheat, it wasn’t a big deal. I replied, “I think you enjoyed that woman flirting with you. Maybe I’ll take my rings off too.” He looked really startled by that. Today was the first day I didn’t wear my rings. When he made a snarky comment, I just said, “You know I’d never cheat on you, so what’s the big deal?” Now what?

— Stand Off, Manitoba

Dear Stand Off: He didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, he did everything right. So did you really think he would run out and buy himself a wedding band or go with you to have one fitted? Do you think he would like it if you put it on his finger as symbol of your ownership in this new environment?

If rings could keep people from cheating, there would be a lot less going on. It’s the internal commitment, plus happiness, warmth, sex, fun and compatibility that make the difference. Granted, a wedding band might cause a shark to go swim in other waters, but word gets around fast in a small centre if an attractive new man or woman is married.

Your husband doesn’t sound like a guy you have to worry about when he actually offers to introduce the “shark” to his wife. Why not continue to trust him, as you always did, and get off his back? He wasn’t doing anything wrong. Treating an honourable person like they’re guilty is a bad policy because some people think, “If I’m already thought guilty, I might as well do the deed.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m sad as a dog with no home and no food. My girlfriend moved away for the summer to take a job at a camp with a lot of other people our age. I have been in that position myself and everybody who can find a partner pairs up. Should I tell her to be free and I will be too for the summer, as in taking a break?

— Lonely Dog, Winnipeg

Dear Lonely Dog: You may be jumping the gun, doggy. What if there’s nobody at camp she’s interested in and she only wants you? Think about that before you say anything at all. If you announce right now you’re on a break, she may dump you for good. Play it cool and see how it goes at camp first. If things seem suspicious, ask her if she wants to go on a break for the summer.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and he won’t shut up about it. For the past two weeks he has mentioned a certain woman’s name a lot and I am suspecting he’s interested in her. I’m not in love with him and this is not permanent but I have been afraid he’ll hit the bottle again if I break up with him. What do you suggest? I don’t live with him, but I need to get away from him — and I’d like to have some summer drinks without feeling scared and guilty I’ll make him drink again.

— Tired Of It All, River Heights

Dear Tired Of It: He’s not the great love of your life, so why not let him dump you? Your technique? Boring him to death. Don’t dress well anymore, be too tired for sex, spend a lot of time at your relatives and neighbours. Talk about things that bore him silly and talk too much. Encourage him to go to lots of AA meetings where this other woman is and he may gravitate towards her — and have to let you down easy. Poor you. Try to take it well!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography