Sex life chills when mom catches couple in act

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This article was published 05/06/2017 (3079 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was totally embarrassed at the cabin when my mother and her best friend arrived unexpectedly to open up for the season. My girlfriend and I had thought my parents were coming up the following weekend, so we went there secretly. The door to the bedroom was wide open and we were naked and in full motion. They caught us. My mother (a lawyer) called my father and yelled, “In flagrante delicto” (in blazing offence, or caught in the act).

My girlfriend and I grabbed our clothes, I yelled, “Sorry, Ma,” and we jumped in the car and sped home.

Dad repeated the “delicto” phrase to me with a smirk, when I got home. All my dad said was that he hoped I was using protection and not to let my mother catch me again. I nodded and ducked down the stairs to my bedroom in the basement. My girlfriend, who’s 18, says she can’t show her face over here again because my mother saw us having sex. What now?

— Sex Life In Jeopardy, age 20, Winnipeg

Dear Sex Life in Jeopardy: Assure your girlfriend that both her parents and your parents have had sex many times, so the sex itself was not a big shock to your mother. She may well be shocked that her baby boy has arrived at sexual maturity, and she doesn’t want to see or hear it.

You need to move out to live on your own, no matter how tiny the place. Your parents didn’t bargain to live as two couples under the same roof. Don’t move in with your girlfriend prematurely, but do move into your own apartment or in a house with a friend or two. The time has come to live in a style that suits your new stage of maturity.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our three-storey home is in a nice part of town; my favourite room is on the top floor. The house next door has a pool. The couple moved in over the winter and I hadn’t met them until two weeks ago. The woman is nice enough. Her partner is a hunk.

The swimming pool is fully visible from one window. I pull a stool over there and watch the hunk cleaning the pool, and then, to my delight, he strips off his shorts and dives in. Oh. My. God. What a body! And then he flips over on his back for the full show.

I’m a stay-at-home mom with a baby and a hard-working professional husband who works a lot. I’m very lonely at home since my husband doesn’t come home until 8 p.m. Then he just wants dinner, to put his feet up and watch TV before falling asleep.

The next-door hunk stays at home, too. His woman leaves at 9 a.m. and doesn’t get back until 7 p.m. or a little later. I don’t know what he does for work. Anyway, I can’t wait until my baby goes down for naps because all I want to do is spy on this guy.

This morning he was bending over and putting plants in the front yard and I peeked through the curtains watching his every move. I know this is creepy, but I can’t seem to stop myself. What should I do besides telling my husband? Anything but that!

— Peeping Thomasina, South Winnipeg

Dear Peeping Thomasina: Do you think maybe Mr. Pool Hunk is aware he is being spied on? Wouldn’t that be embarrassing for you? People often have a funny feeling, a sixth sense, when someone is watching them. How much longer can you get away with this spying before he comes to your door? Then what?

He may not find it amusing. You may have taken away his privacy in the pool. Or, he may want to get to know you better. It would literally be a crime if you left the baby sleeping alone while you frolicked in the pool. The obsessive road you’re on now can lead to big trouble. If your marriage fell apart, you would become a single mom with or without custody of your baby.

It might be a good idea to get a babysitter and see a relationship counsellor on your own right now. Spill everything and see what can be done about your marriage, your family life, your boredom and your sexual obsession.

Start looking at your marriage and lifestyle, which doesn’t consist of much fun, companionship or social life anymore. Take a hard look at your husband’s long absences. What is he doing away from the house from early morning until 8 p.m.?

On his side, has he given up on warmth, sensuality and fun at home? Did you stop having sex when you were pregnant and have not resumed much intimacy? It’s time to look at everything in your life instead of obsessing on the pool and its contents.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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