Wearing sexy shoes not an invitation for foot fetishists

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/06/2017 (3068 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got taken in by a foot fetish guy, again. I thought I had a normal lover for once — he looked ultra conservative — and ended up with a foot fetishist! I always get the weird ones. He didn’t reveal his taste for spiked heels, lace-ups and painting my toenails red until I got some jewelry from him as a gift. I thanked him enthusiastically. Then he said, with a little too much urgency: “Put them on now, baby. C’mon.” Then he fell on his face and kissed every inch of my pedicured feet, saying, “I love a woman who looks after her feet!”

I just sighed. Back to the drawing board!

I told him not to bother any further, got up and wearily walked him to my door, to bid him adieu. But then I was curious, because this kind of thing happens way too much to me. People take me for someone who’s kinky or kinky-friendly. So I asked him what made him think I would be interested in kinky stuff.

He told me he always looks at women’s shoes first and I was wearing sexy shoes. He looks for fancy pedicures and toe and ankle jewelry. “It often points the way for me. Why would a woman advertise that way, if she wasn’t? I figure she must like foot sex, too,” he said. I told him he was wrong and started pushing him out the door. 

He wasn’t eager to leave, and with the cutest little-boy grin asked to lick my arches before he left, and maybe I would change my mind. I pushed him out the door laughing and locked it. He was cute all right, but I’m not into it. I dress sexy and my feet are always in beautiful shoes. So what? It’s part of how I feel beautiful.

— Not a Foot Fetish Partner, Downtown

Dear Not a Foot Fetish Partner: Next time, experiment with a guy who dresses to show his sensuality, too. He understands about wearing sexy clothes himself, and doesn’t get overly excited by them. A conservative guy who can’t express his sensuality outwardly has to do it in secret, and secrecy can promote great excitement.

As for where the foot fetish came from in the first place, it could be from playing with his mom’s or sister’s shoes or porn — there are many ways. It didn’t start with you. He actually came over with the toys he wanted to play with and gave them to you as gift.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met this cute little woman in her early 80s. She still carries on like she was a young gal. I am athletic and still run, albeit slowly, past her house every day, and now she has started offering me a drink of water. She leaves a pitcher out for me on the flat top of the fence, which is great when it’s hot out. That water is always there now, and so is she, for a few encouraging words. What do you think I should do next?

— Gotten Rusty, River Heights

Dear Gotten Rusty: Make your move tomorrow. Fake that you are warm and need a little rest and ask her politely if you can come in the yard and sit down a few minutes. That’s what she’s been hoping for all this time, and she has probably been wondering if the drink-of-water ploy was going to lead to something. Once you’re in the yard, get to know her better over the space of half an hour. Then ask her if you can come by and take her out for dinner that night or the next.

She has already shown you she likes your attentions, so don’t be nervous. It’s going to work! Then go run the rest or your circuit, relax and get ready for your dinner out. Best of luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: How many times does a person normally fart in one day? I’m sure my boyfriend is way over the limit. I have decided to complain to him, but nobody talks about farts, so I don’t know if he’s worse than other people or not. He just farts freely, no apologies, and comments only if one is particularly stinky. What do I need to know?

— With My First Boyfriend, North End

Dear With My First Boyfriend: The average is 14 times a day, and women supposedly fart more often than men, with smellier results per episode. You can find out more facts about farting than anyone ever wanted to know at website called thefartfacts.com.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I took a girlfriend home for the last time last night, and she got out of the car and didn’t even say goodbye. We didn’t formally breakup, but I ain’t calling her again. She’s not what I want. She doesn’t even act like she loves me. She doesn’t tell anybody I’m her boyfriend.

— Disappointed Guy, age 16, Winnipeg

Dear Disappointed Guy: Give her the two minute break-up call and be classy about it. You’ll waste a lot of time thinking about it, and so will she, if you don’t say a real goodbye. Call and say, “I think this is it. We seem to have drifted apart. Thanks for everything.” Then you can go on your way and not have your mind wondering how she’s doing. It’s the right thing to do. Girls and women really hate to be left to drift. They like to know what’s going on, so they can move on.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography