Nude pictures on phone suspicious

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This article was published 26/07/2017 (3030 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I have been married a long time and have adult children together. He travels for business and I have had no reason to mistrust him, but recently I have seen provocative pictures popping up on his phone. Since we follow each other on Instagram, I checked who he was following. I found the woman on his list, along with another who posts such photos. My husband denied knowing them, but quickly deleted them.

He defended himself by saying it was art. I am in menopause, and he says he wasn’t getting any and he is human. I had to agree. My point was, if he owned up to it, it wouldn’t have been an issue — lying and hiding the fact was the issue. He claimed I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

Now, two weeks later, I have seen the woman’s nude photo pop up again on his phone as a text message. Again he whipped his phone away from my gaze. I am upset and feel I can’t trust my husband. I don’t know enough about social media to know why he’s still getting these photos if he deleted her. What should I do?

— Disappointed Wife, Manitoba

Dear Disappointed Wife: The issue is not how he got her nudie shot back on there again, or even you becoming a social-media ace so you can catch him every time he’s pulling something, the issue is the marriage itself and his sneaky moves. Plus, you don’t have to give up sex for menopause! What’s that all about? These issues require counselling.

But back to your specific question. Is he flirting with this contact and asking for more pictures? She can still send him a picture if she’s not a friend anymore and try to re-solicit his attention, but really, it’s more likely he asked for them.

She may not be a real woman either, but a freaky character pretending to be her, or a spam bot (not a real person). To learn more about social media, ask your own questions in a Google search and usually you will get a myriad of helpful responses. A sample question might be: “How can I tell if an account is a spam bot or a real person?”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am recently divorced and have healed quite nicely because my ex-husband turned out to be a jerk and I am well rid of him. Up to a few months ago, I only used Facebook for family communication — pictures of parties and anniversaries — but now I have a little hobby where I look up old boyfriends and check out their personal statuses (single, married, divorced and it’s complicated).

I just came upon the second important boyfriend of my high-school life: the one I first made love with after a dance under the stars in the country. It says he’s divorced now and back living and working in our hometown. I contacted him on Facebook. He said he was intrigued and suggested I go visit my relatives and then sneak off to a different town for drinks with him. He says people would see us if we went to the local bar, and then there would be a lot of talk.

I am not a very trusting soul after my tail-hound of a husband, so I’m wondering if he’s seeing somebody else and that’s why we have to travel 40 miles away to meet for a drink. What do you think?

— To Go or Not To Go, Transcona

Dear To Go or Not To Go: You need to go through a few more preliminaries before meeting this guy. How about you get on the telephone and chat with him a number of times? Also, ask a trusted friend or family member who can be discreet to check him out for you. They will have the personal scuzz on a divorced man living in town. He may already have a new girlfriend and could just be telling you a story to get a look at you and satisfy his curiosity without getting caught. So get busy! Write back and tell us how it goes.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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